April 07, 2008

open letter to kanye west.

mr. kanye west -

i'm writing you in a desperate attempt to improve the world of college basketball. last night the ncaa tournament ended and, as always, cbs played the annual "one shining moment" video montage. i'm not sure if you are familiar with it - most people have turned their television off by the time it airs anyway - but it is the cheesiest segment i've ever experienced in all my life. apparently it is a tradition. it began back in 1987 and apparently the public went bonkers. i'm not necessarily sure why they insist on the tradition today. its pitifully boring. the worst part is the lyric "you're a shooting star" - guaranteed that more than 90% of the montages incorporated one of the best in college basketball shooting a slow motion jump shot during that phrase. he is a shooting star. what a feeble pun. it takes a bunch of ballers and makes them look more like baller-inas.

however, i believe you, kanye, can single-handedly do something about it. sample copious amounts of the song, add a beat, throw down some family-appropriate lyrics and send it into cbs. there are so many lines you can sample for choruses and there's a legit piano going that you could mess around with. like you did with laura nyro on graduation (the glory). just make it a little more energetic and amped instead of leaving it sounding like i should be watching frolicking* unicorns. heck, call up john legend to hammer it down on the keys if you want, or i bet common would jump at the chance to help you out for a verse. or consequence. or mos def. or chris martin. or jay. (this contradicts the "single-handedly" i referenced earlier, but its your prerogative, kanye.)

it is painfully sad to watch incredible athletes perform to such a cornball song. its even more painful knowing that it is going to happen again next year. and the year after that. 21 years of this nonsense is plenty. please help me out here man. you've got a year to work your magic. ready break.

expectantly,
adam paul cooper

* - sick.

8 comments:

bad diary days said...

very true. lets hang out soon. scrabble rematch, i am getting better i just know it.
nick

HP said...

21 or 31 years?

Anonymous said...

a small piece of my heart was crushed by your blog.

i love one shining moment. i might get goosebumps every time i see it.

so what if it's luther vandross and the lyrics are the worst you've ever heard?

one shining moment
you reach to the top
one shining moment
you knew....you were alive!!!
the beating of your heart, the wind in your face, it's more than a contest, it's mooooooooore
than a race *insert bad guitar solo*

what's not to love adam?

Tuffy said...

worst blog post ever.

i love the one shining moment video. i even stayed in the stands through all of the ku celebration crap (and i'm not sure if that really shows how unbelievably hard that is for me) to see it, because i knew beasley would be in it. every year i don't leave the stadium until after they show the video.

i was only upset by two things in it this year. first, the only shot of beas was with his head down after the wisconsin game. best player in college basketball, and they couldn't show a highlight?!?!?! and two... it was considerably shorter this year. they didn't do the entire song. that made me sad.

much love,

tuf

rachel rianne said...

a very heart and soul filled post.
way to go.


i'll have to now search through the thousands of pictures i have to find one that shows the words getting bigger at the top. but i'll let you know when i do.

luke said...

wow, some pretty powerful reactions here cooper. i mean, don't people need to let go of the past when it is old and lame and outworn? the one shining moment might be a tradition yes, but so were indulgences, slavery, and not allowing women to vote. and yes i think this is on exactly the same level. let the (obviously outdated) past die. let the new spring up. keep the tradition, make it actually somewhat decent though. i mean, we don't do the olympics on old dirt and stones like they used to in greece do we? yeah, i didn't think so.

Sara said...

I would like to officially add my stamp of approval. If nothing else, it is time for a One Shining Moment r-r-REMIX! For real.

Sincerely,

Your friend that makes the best runny pancakes.

p.s. Have I mentioned that you are hilarious?

Unknown said...

I waited on a man and woman in Fort Worth who claimed to have written "one shining moment." I think they were full of it...then again, who would claim that crap to be cool??