usain bolt is borderline human.

it's unfortunate that usain bolt was running at the same time tiger woods was choking this past sunday. if these hadn't been aired at the same time i'm sure plenty more people would be talking about how much more amazing usain bolt is than y.e. who?

everyone needs to go here and here to watch him run in the 100m and 200m respectively. the dude is a freak.

after you watch the clip on metacafe, you need to scroll down and observe the following comment about his new world record...


-ap.

my fantasy football team.

i've never played fantasy football before. i always get to about week 3 and think "ah crap, i forgot to talk to some guys and get a league together." but this year, those guys came to me. the graduated seniors from hillcrest asked me to join their league before they ditched next week for college.

the draft was tonight at buffalo wild wings (which, by the way, gives your draft group $100 free food and a draft packet with stickers of all the players' names to stick on a sweet draft board). here is the team i ended up with:

QB:
peyton manning - ind
joe flacco - bal
kerry collins - ten

RB:
brandon jacobs - nyg
joseph addai - ind
fred taylor - ne
dominic rhodes - buf

WR:
larry fitzgerald - ari
steve smith - car
lee evans - buf
santana moss - was
devon hester - chi
hakim nicks - nyg
laverneus coles - cin
robert meachem - no
antwaan randle el - was
jordy nelson - gb

TE:
kellen winslow - tb

K:
rob bironas - ten

DEF:
baltimore ravens
indianapolis colts

better hope kellen winslow stays healthy. but would you look at my tight receiver core? i even added randle el and jordy as my own feel-good picks. i can't wait til this season kicks off.

also you'll notice i have zero members from the AFC West. two reasons: 1. i can't root for the other teams that i hate and 2. my confidence in the chiefs is minimal.

i feel more than confident about my team however. i feel like rolling sixes all over these dudes. no mercy anymore fellas, you're out of high school now. you're in the real world. i'm all business and you best get out of the way.

-ap.

a Fun thought.

i really like this dave and buster's commercial. the idea is that everyone has a little part of them that's reserved for having fun, and D&B externalizes this fun as a lil munchkin - a half-sized version of each person dressed in some sort of extreme apparel. the guy's Fun is a dirt biker. the girl's Fun is a lightweight boxing champ.

if i had a Fun, he would be dressed as relish.

but the point isn't Fun's attire. the point is this: willie bloomquist could very well be john buck's Fun.

i'm not the first to mention their resemblance. at a quick glance - and after a long stare sometimes - you can really get the two mixed up. the only real difference: 5 inches and 30 pounds. i just like to picture willie out there bouncin around at john's side, giggling and playing skee-ball and pop-a-shot with Big John. just look at willie's face! scary resemblance.

also consider: mike aviles as vin diesel's Fun.

-ap.

municipal stadium.

with the 40th anniversary of the kansas city royals happening this year i decided to look into their history a little more intentionally. i was sort of confused - i knew that kauffman stadium (then royals stadium) was built in 1973, and with all the renovations happening this year i thought the big 40th anniversary hooplah was because of the stadium. but 2009 - 1973 ≠ 40. i'd forgotten that the royals played at municipal stadium for 3 years before first taking the field on the turf at royals stadium in 1973.

municipal stadium was primarily the home of the negro league's kansas city monarchs from 1923-1955. it also hosted the the kc blues during the same time as the monarchs, the kc athletics from 1955-67 before moving to oakland, and the chiefs for 8 incredible years until 1971. buck o'neil played there from 1938-1955 and jackie robinson called municipal stadium home for two years before he broke the color barrier in the major leagues in 1947.

the ballpark was demolished in 1976 and replaced by a public garden, but today it is being replaced with a housing development. for some reason this really saddens me. there was a terrific history at municipal stadium, and it sure would've been an awesome attraction to add to the 18th and vine district around kansas city missouri. now there's just a lame sign that's meant to remember the great history there. it seems like a disgrace to me. i haven't actually been there, read the sign and explored the surrounding area, but just the fact that i haven't heard much of anything about municipal stadium in my 23 years of calling kansas city home doesn't say much for how well the old stadium is being remembered. (also check out old downtown kc in the distance of the pic to the left.)

maybe i'm just a sucker for baseball stadiums. actually, that's exactly what it is. it's an incredible blend of architecture and recreation that you don't get in any other sports. there is no other sport that features asymmetry and different dimensions between ballparks. one could possibly argue that golf offers this, but in terms of building architecture there is no comparison. basketball, football, soccer, hockey - they all have specific dimensions. baseball stadiums all have their special quirks and unique feels to them. shorter fences, longer fences, higher fences and smaller ones, a small hill in center field, brick walls or ivy in the outfield, tough angles and nooks in the left and right field corners, etc.

i just find it astonishing that they demolished it and have replaced it with a bunch of houses. it seems disrespectful for some reason - especially to a stadium with the extensive negro leagues history as municipal had. obviously we can't get it back, but it's fun to wish it was still around.

in other news: john buck just hit a triple...just wanted to show billy butler how to do it.
EDIT: john buck just hit ANOTHER triple.

-ap.

royals questions.

a few questions i have following the royals 4-2 failure against the white sucks last night in chitown:

1. where is ron mahay? i understand that farnsworth "throws gas" and had just struck out carlos quentin on a sick pitch progression - fast, breaking, faster - but jim thome eats righty power pitchers like kyle farnsworth for lunch. i don't care that ron mahay isn't a 'lefty specialist'. the fact of the matter is that thome slugs .600+ against righties and .400+ against lefties. mahay isn't a lefty's worst nightmare, but a power righty is like handing jim thome a swag bag. yes, farnsworth looked good against quentin, but jim thome needs to be taken seriously. and ron mahay was the answer to that serious situation. not kyle farnsworth.

2. do the royals know how to manufacture runs? with 16 base runners (11 hits, 3 walks, and 2 hit batters) in the game, you have to be able to manufacture more than 2 runs. billy butler can't even hit a sac fly with the bases loaded and 0 outs? mike aviles can't even put the ball in play with runners in scoring position? do we know how to utilize a bunt? you can't leave 11 men on base and expect to win in this league.

3. can we not steal a base? this is a subquestion from the one above, but its super frustrating for me. when coco crisp leads off the game with a single he ought to be able to score. every time. he should be able to take second, advance to third on the next ball put in play and then one of the next two guys ought to be able to hit a sac fly to get him home. we picked the guy up so that he could lead off for us and steal bases. he did his job in the top of the 1st, but someone needs to tell him to steal a base. the royals' offense isn't potent enough to pile on the runs every game. we need to be able to take advantage of situations in which we ought to be able to score.

4. does anyone else miss jimmy gobble? he was the lefty specialist that was supposed to be on our team to pitch to thome until the royals dropped him a few weeks ago. gobble has a history of frustrating jim thome and lefties bat .200 against him. sure would've been nice to have him to turn to for an out. we'd be alone in first place if we hadn't dropped him. RIP jimmy.

hindsight is definitely 20-20, but you don't have to be Puxatony Phil to foresee farnsworth failing against thome.

-ap.

spring training is here!

ouch. rough start fellas. good thing it's only spring training.

SCORE UPDATE:

courtesy of olivo and jacobs homers.

39 days, 20 hours and 40 minutes til opening day.
cannot wait.

-ap.

quick thoughts on chiefs hiring todd haley.

1. good.

2. our defense is still gonna suck.

3. coming from arizona, todd haley will look normal wearing red on the chiefs' sideline.

4. will haley have the approval of tony gonzales so TG won't whine all season?

5. will haley sign/draft a QB?

6. will haley - a WR coach for a decade and an offensive coordinator for the last 3 years - draft michael crabtree with the chiefs #3 overall pick? oooooooo a sexy question indeed.

-ap.

big day for the jefes...and luis colon.

alright. today was a huge day in sports. for me at least.

the chiefs have hired scott pioli as their new GM. when carl was fired last month, my reaction went something like this: "YES...now what?" so i've attempted to educate myself, but i still struggle to see what makes a "good" or "bad" general manager. i've gathered bits and pieces here and there, and the two things i keep coming back to and finding most important: experience and passion.

pioli apparently has both. he's been a part of the browns, ravens, and jets management in the 90s and has been leading a contributor in the patriots 'dynasty' of from 2000-2009. here are two terrific quotes from new england patriots' owner robert kraft and head coach bill belichick:

"Scott Pioli was an integral part of the many championships the New England Patriots have celebrated this decade and I would like to thank him for his countless contributions throughout the past nine seasons. Scott is a great evaluator of talent. He is thorough in his evaluations, extremely organized and has done a tremendous job mining all possible resources to help Coach Belichick and his staff field the players needed to win consistently." [Robert Kraft]

"To sum up in words everything Scott Pioli has meant to this organization and to me personally would be difficult, if not impossible. From the day I met him, he has demonstrated a passion for football and respect for the game that is second to none. It has been extremely gratifying for me to follow Scott's career ascension from the bottom of the totem pole in Cleveland to his place as a pillar of championship teams in New England. Now with the opportunity to steer his own ship and a vision of building a winner, there is no more capable, hardworking, loyal, team-oriented person than Scott Pioli." [Bill Belichick]

that means a lot coming from belichick...the guy isn't exactly a quote machine. nor is he the source of any emotion whatsoever.

he's probably going to give herm edwards the ax (good by me) and he'll implement a whole new staff of winners (which i'm also okay with as long as he keeps chan gailey). i'm also pumped to see a) who he drafts b) who he gets out of free agency and c) what he does with larry johnson. as long as we end up with a legitimate pass rush i'll be decently happy.

other sports news i need to address:
in a losing effort at ku, k-state starter luis colon put up 12 points and 6 rebounds in 16 minutes of play. also he fouled out with 12 minutes left in the game but the POINT is that luis was a STAR.

the wildcats were terrible, started the game down 18-0, but with luis at the wheel they clawed back to within 4 points early in the second half, but then he fouled out and all morale was lost. sigh. number 15 can't do everything (yes, he changed his number...fifteen is a much sleeker and impressive number than 50).

anyway. for probably the first time since the play of my life and the day the streak ended do i feel like sports are alive in my life - and nothing really significant happened at all. kstate lost by 16 in allen fieldhouse and the chiefs didn't even play a game - but it feels just fine being a sports fan today. i'll savor it for now. please be sure remind me of this moment a few days from now when it all comes crashing down again. damn it feels good to be a kc sports fan/gangster.

go relish.

-ap.

quick! last minute prediction!

bcs championship game prediction:

OU 42 UF 33

-ap.

kc sports: what a thrilling topic.

one of the great things about rooting for sucky teams is that you get used to disappointment and your heart isn't broken as often as it might be if you had some sort of expectation. so when the chiefs pull what they did on sunday it's pretty easy to shrug your shoulders and think "hey. draft pick sizzler."

one of the crappy things about rooting for sucky teams is that sometimes they don't have playoff success for decades, and while some teams are acquiring c.c. sabathia and a.j. burnett simultaneously, i get to celebrate the signing of kyle farnsworth to a two-year deal.

-ap.

hope for the jefes.

since everyone else is talking about the election on november 4th, i'll try and bring some fresh air to the currently politically saturated world wide web. lets talk chiefs football.

players i need to address:

1. tyler thigpen. if anyone wants to hear some thigpen encouragement - you can hear it on the AM radio (everclear ref). 610 sports callers are praising him as our solution at QB forever. there isn't anyone getting more encouragement than t-square. no wonder he's performing with so much more confidence. when the world believes in you then you start acting like you're supposed to be there - heck, a couple people have called in claiming he could be the next tom brady. i'm reluctant to go that far, there is quite a difference between the michigan wolverines and the coastal carolina...chanitcleers. main difference: i didnt have to look up "wolverines". do i believe that tyler thigpen is the quarterback of the future in kc? not yet. but do i believe he's got a shot depending on how he plays in the next 8 games? absolutely. i'm not even sure we need to draft a QB this year seeing that this year's QB class sucks and next year's will rule. we could suffice with signing some washed up veteran as a back up. maybe. it all depends on t-square's performance from here on out. also, when the nickname "t-square" takes off - you heard it here first.

2. larry johnson. haven't missed him at all the last few weeks. is he a better rusher than charles and smith? you bet he is. but when you've got the opportunity to be an example for these new guys and you're spitting alcohol at women instead? pitiful. charles ran for over 100 yards on sunday and kolby smith looked terrific before he got hurt, and for the first time this year i actually agree with the complaints and beliefs that the chiefs ought to just ship him elsewhere. maybe the cowboys would take him. not that they need him with barber back there, but they seem to have a distinct interest in players with off-the-field issues.

3. the brandons: carr, flowers, and (branden) albert. we've got two stellar corners in carr and flowers. the injuries to flowers and johnson in the second half is why we lost the game to tampa. they picked on flowers side the moment he went out and the chiefs couldn't stop garcia and galloway. when we're healthy and older we're going to have one of the best secondaries in the nfl. you wait and see. flowers, carr, page, pollard. i think they're all future pro-bowlers. and branden albert ruled this sunday. thigpen had plenty of time and albert is the main reason. he's getting better and healthier every game, and it shows.

4. chan gailey. funny name, great play calling on sunday. it helps when you have the same quarterback for two consecutive games, but i was so excited to see the chiefs mixing it up on offense. wildcat formation? loved it. i was sprinting around my house declaring the play below as the "play of my life." also, when we had the ball late in the game we didn't go super conservative (instead tony g got called for a bogus offensive pass interference), but we didn't just hand it to charles off-tackle 3 times and punt like last week. high five chan. your report card landed its first A this week.

5. mark bradley and devard darling: bradley for that unbelievable pass (see below) and darling for finally making a case for him as the #2 receiver after bowe. i had begun to think DD was a bust - don't act like that isn't hilarious. also some props to brad cottam for existing. i'm not certain that i'd even heard his name through week seven. the receivers were open for thigpen on sunday and that was encouraging. and how about bradley's pass. wow. just please watch the video below and visualize me stomping around utilizing the double fist pump to it's utmost potential.

play of my life:


ahh. i could watch it over and over. all in all - we're making strides. after watching us play atlanta, tennessee and carolina i was certain that this "youth movement" was more of a "youth stagnant". it's good to see that i may stand corrected. there is hope in kansas city. maybe next year we can keep it up for 4 quarters instead of 1 1/2.

go chiefs.
-ap.

1-15 is just fine with me.

don't act like i never told ya.

the guys that needed to perform actually showed up - larry, tony, huard and bowe - but, more importantly, the defense looked extremely solid at times: derrick johnson especially. despite a couple unfortunate big runs, we forced turnovers and had decent pass coverage throughout. holler.

and how about that 12th man?! i haven't heard arrowhead like that against denver since dante hall's wickedly famous punt return in the 03-04 season. it felt like we wanted to win for a change.

don't expect them to go on the road at carolina and post up numbers like they did today, but i actually feel like i can watch on sunday with a hope for the future. also, don't everybody run to huard like he's a hero. this is the same damon huard who suffered from "mild head trauma" two weeks ago against oakland...mother faker.

but anyway. today i am proud to be a chiefs fan - not that i wasn't for the last 12 games- but i can finally say it without expected scoffs in return. this is going to be a good week. a confident week. things will happen this week. (you probably weren't aware that i rate my success as an individual based solely on the success of the kansas city chiefs - not entirely true, but it has a surprisingly large impact. too bad it couldn't've happened last week when i had three exams. this week must store something even more rewarding...my mind is doing backflips with anticipation.)

i don't care if we lose the final 12 games of the season - 1-15 is great as long as today is our only win. we won the one that really matters. talk about already exceeding expectations.

-ap.

USF 37 KU 34

finally. justice.

in 2007 KU lived a charmed life going 5-0 in games decided by 8 points or less. it's nice to see that they're experiencing the other side of the story this year.

-ap.

eggshell off-white like a dupont finish.

september should be one of the more exciting months of the year. football starts. pennant races are building in suspense. and kansas is provided with simply perfect puffer vest weather.

however, this september - though the weather is indeed perfect - provides me no sporting excitement whatsoever. my teams are all expected to flounder or have already gone under, and i have yet again failed to join a fantasy football league. i don't understand how i've always managed to surround myself with individuals who don't give half a crap about sports once september arrives. but alas, another year.

the good news is that football is still amazing even though the chiefs are not. so sundays and mondays will continue to be ruled by quite a bit of read-while-watching time. which is probably good - reading is something i've really come to enjoy recently. i'm in the middle of obama's book right now; this probably wasn't the best decision. only one of my eight books i ordered online has come in yet, so i've got some catching up to do.

other things to be excited about in september: ben folds, nelly and robin thicke all have cd releases. burn after reading - the latest coen brothers film - comes out in theaters on the 12th too. i'm not sure if the theater in manhattan does midnight showings (probably the only downfall of this town), but nick and i are seeing that movie.

-asap.

softball.

i've officially joined the Hillcrest Covenant men's softball team.

yes, it isn't baseball. and yes, i don't get to experience the game like i used to, but i get to be on a field with a baseball mindset. there is no place i feel more comfortable than chattering on a ballfield with a team that i'm apart of. i'm one of the younger guys on the team - most of the guys are in their early 30s - but i feel like there is some really great potential for some fun growth here.

things i've learned about competitive softball since 9:30 pm yesterday:

1. sometimes if you just keep running you can score. the bases are way closer than in baseball so getting to the next base is super simple.

pause. a bird just flew into the window next to me. stupid animals. unpause.

2. my teammates tell me that striking out in men's softball typically results in that person purchasing everyone on the team a round of beers after the game. seeing that we're a team representing a church, we don't adhere to those rules, but a guy on the other team struck out 3 times last night. major buzzkill.

3. i feel athletic even though my legs are the same size as the new team bat we use.

4. i was informed by the opposing team's catcher that tossing the bat back toward the dugout after every at-bat is an art form. "it's all in the wrist. just got to flick it." i asked him if they ever had extracurricular competitions. he said "oh yeah absolutely." he's totally full of it. and i know it. and he knows i know it.

5. there are some extremely godly men at Hillcrest.

i'm amped to play in games where we dont get run-ruled.
and where i don't bat second to last and play right field. yeah newbie.

-ap.

mayo to miami? ha.

article.

apparently o.j. mayo went and worked out for the miami heat (second pick in the draft) before beasley or rose did. the media has gotten so ridiculous that it is trying to portray mayo asthe better pick at #2. i'm sorry. saying rose is better than beasley is one thing - say mayo is better is a completely different ballgame.

miami has the easiest pick in the draft; everyone knows it. all they have to do is take whichever one (beasley or rose) that chicago doesn't take. so therefore, it makes perfect sense that mayo would come try out first. he's the #3 top pick overall and the heat want to be certain they're not missing out on anything. they've already got rose and beas on lock down. the heat will not take oj mayo with their second pick - that would be an even bigger crime than taking rose over beasley. but checking him out never did anyone any harm.

i think rose may go 1. but mayo at 2 is a joke. that'd be cool if it did happen though...and then he dropped even further to 4 - cause i still want beasley to go to the supersonics with KD. that has a 0% chance of happening though. but i can dream.

-ap.

kc brigade.

today i was fortunate enough to attend my first ever Arena Football League game: the kansas city brigade versus the arizona rattlers.

the brigade got completely tossed. 73-34.

i went with 4 high school fellas. none of them had been to a game before either so none of us really knew what to expect. it was a the sprint center in downtown kcmo. i didn't really expect the brigade to pack the place out - and they didn't - but i was surprised at the level of commitment shown by some fans.

one of the first things the four of us witnessed as we walked in the door were two obviously avid brigade fans. they both had on their #90 jerseys*. and their bald heads were completely painted brigade-light-blue with the brigade logo (seen above) drawn on the back of their skulls. as best as i could observe they were father and son - but when two people cover all of their facial features with the exact same shade of paint they're bound to look related. it was like seeing a light skinned member of the Blue Man Group and his offspring. but these were the only individuals we ever witnessed with any sort of skin alterations (except for the woman in section 115 with an obnoxious tribal tattoo on her lower back.)

section 116 row 17 got a little old after a bit, so we decided to pursue seats around section 117 row 2. success. however, i'm confident we landed in the season ticket holder "section". they were extremely enthusiastic about the brigade. they knew players names, the coaches' typical schemes, team records and history as well as the current afl standings. however, when the game turned south for kansas city (around 9 minutes left in the first quarter) the die hard fans began to express their frustrations at rather extreme volumes. they threw out lines like "that play never works (insert coach's name here)!" or "there go your season ticket sales!" or "we're not a running team!" or "pit-i-ful!!!" their jeers were pretty much audible to the entire arena seeing that the rest of the building wasn't necessarily saying much. and being indoors helps too. i wanted to turn around and say something to the effect of "are we serious?" or "what season ticket holders?" but i didnt want to offend anyone. i just couldn't believe there were people that cared that much about the kc brigade...the chiefs aren't THAT bad.

i'm glad to say that i've been to a game, but i don't plan on ever going back. unless we play the Columbus Destroyers. they're the only team equally as bad as the Brigade apparently. but not likely you'll pull me to that one either.

a quality learning experience. hilariously strange.

-ap.

* - former chiefs allstar Neil Smith owns the team. he was number 90. maybe he should pull a michael jordan/washington wizards/2001 and come out of retirement to help a pitifully sad team.

later jared. later mike.

two big-deal-in-my-life athletes have just been removed from my teams: michael beasley is going pro and jared allen is going to minnesota.

being a fan of sports is difficult for me nowadays (except for baseball - that is a game that doesnt hinge on performance or individuals - it simply more lovable). my teams in the ncaa and in the nfl suck basically. no, i'm not fair weather, its just incredibly difficult to cheer for a team led by damon huard or a college that is notorious for disappointing its fans.

so i put my love in individuals instead. if the team is horrendous then i can at least support a handful of individuals. i can find my enjoyment out of just one person's stats or one person's energy or one person's ability in general. but those individuals have started to spite me as well.

beasley doesn't hurt much really. it wasn't like it wasn't expected that he was going pro. and even though he might be 19 and love sponge-bob squarepants - he's still going to run to the money. but not only that, he's wasting his talent at this level. he can compete against people even better than this, so why wouldn't he?

jared allen hurts though. for a depleted chiefs team without many glimmers of hope to cling to - this is a rough blow. sure we get a handful of draft picks, but they'll just turn out to be great and disappoint me too probably. can't catch a break. i blame carl peterson. ruining my life.

it has become clear to me that my ability to cheer for sports without being disappointed and/or emotionally unhinged is limited solely to baseball. it's more than just winning to me. it's going to games, supporting catchers making $440k when i could be supporting individuals making $26m. who cares if an individual bats .222? it's baseball. its great.

so. besides baseball, here is what i have elected to do: hope my favorite teams win, but root for everyone. this may or may not extend to ku. i haven't decided yet. but as far as the nfl, nba, and ncaa goes - i'm for everyone. i'm for good games, underdogs, dynasties, overtimes and game 7's. forget hating - 'cause where does hating get you?' sports are incredible and i'll support those who deserve to be supported*.

sports are incredible and can bring so much joy - why would i waste my time being disappointed and bummed about about performance? i'll be a chiefs fan regardless their record, but i'm done being disappointed. its just unhealthy.

that having been said - good luck beas. good luck jared allen. you'll shine elsewhere** and i hope you continue to lead the league in everything and sacks respectively.

-ap.

* - this no longer includes chad johnson who is turning out to be way more of a punk than i expected him to be. sad times chad. just play the game and love it. its not that hard. and major props to marvin lewis for handling the situation EXACTLY how i think it should be handled. i have a new favorite head coach in the nfl.

** - i hope beasley goes to the supersonics. and then i hope the supersonics end up in OKC. and then i hope i can go watch him play again. i'm going to miss it here in manhattan next year. but its alright. luis colon is still here - final four here we come.

rps.

anyone who believes 'rock paper scissors*' to be an entirely luck-oriented game is frankly naive. the game is a socially inept individual's nightmare. there is technique. and i will try my best to explain.

please note: all these judgements are directed at the apathetic player. those that think there is no skill are most susceptible. also morons.

there are three types of people in this world: aggressive, passive, and neither of those.

aggressive individuals have a natural tendency to play rock. they want to crush their opponent and rock is the only answer for that crushing desire. these aggressive individuals are the easiest to pick out. usually they have large shoulders and enjoy playing halo. hint: watch their wrists - rock players have a tendency to hold their fist a little tighter than paper or scissors players. if you can see muscles flexing or tendons jutting out then its safer to bet that they're prepared to drop a clenched fist.

passive individuals have a natural tendency to play paper. they're more likely to want to slowly wrap around their opponent to defeat them. this may be both because they truly would prefer that method and because they're not entirely comfortable smashing others and they're not alright with chopping others either. they're connect much more with the gentle suffocation of the paper. paper players are more difficult to spot than rockers. in my experience they tend to be more timid and bashful; they don't want the attention, they simply want to slide away with a slick win. however, watch yourself around the quiet ones - they tend to be the most conniving.

and the others: scissors. this is by far the most difficult to judge. i like to call this the "tricky" maneuver. first off, i would like to assert my opinion that MOST individuals fall under this category. it is the most desirable option because people do not have a natural yearning to be labeled as passive OR aggressive. so they take the remaining tricky option in scissors. this fact alone already shows that scissors** players take more into account than both papers or rockers. they're already subconsciously thinking about what group they want to be offiliated with. this is why i find them 'tricky' - this means they have a greater tendency to deviate to other options. tricky individuals are likely more intelligent and more likely to try and fool you by impersonating other actions. (this is when the rock hint comes in handy - if they dont flex you can more safely play a scissors because if you know its not rock your options are a) they play paper and you win or b) they play scissors and you go again). also watch for a flexing in the pointer and middle finger (the scissor fingers).

but dont fall susceptible to reverse psychology! an intelligent being could intentionally flex their wrist and then throw scissors in hopes that the other might assume a rock is going to be thrown and that they're going to throw paper in return.

the real skill in RPS: out-thinking your opponent.
i hope you all disagree cause that means you'll comment with something angry and i like it when that happens.

-ap.

ps: i have a tendency to throw rock because i believe most people throw scissors naturally (including me), but i really wish i was a natural paper.

* - furthermore, anyone who lists the game's name in an order other than r-p-s needs to get it straight. 'paper scissors rock' is unacceptable, 'paper rok scissors' is even more incorrect, and 'scissors rock paper' is right out.

** - not even close to the phonetic spelling. so many things are wrong with that spelling. SIZZERS. thank you.

smorgasbord.

here's a handful of things that i feel i need to address quickly in one post as opposed to trying to put out a handful of unnecessarily pitiful ones. not because i dont want to devote an entire post to each of them, but life continues to happen and john buck continues to impress - so i fall behind on these other non-in-the-moment blogs.

so enjoy a list blog of things i feel inclined to bring to your attention.

1. i have completed the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. i finished it easily within a day. what an obviously great image of Jesus. its an incredible book - ridiculously well written. it reminded me of a video we watched at the hillcrest easter performance a few weeks back called "sunday's comin" which i have generously linked here. pretty powerful i think.

2. baseball has started. this means 162+ moments of excitement. i have the following goals: 20 games. at least 2 of which are at stadiums other than Kauffman (which now boasts what i'm told is the largest HD screen in the world). i'm getting a head start tomorrow and saturday in kc. friday night buck night and saturday night billy butler powder blue replica jersey night. holler.

3. i feel like my excitement to blog is directly proportional with my excitement to get up every morning. as you may or may not have noticed (i don't know how committed of a frequenter you are), i've been blogging a lot lately. every day i get closer to summer the more excited i get.

4. an interesting event happened on tuesday that countered the last sentence in point three. one of my professors (the same one i've posted an email from in the past) sent me another lovely email telling "all" that our final wasn't on tuesday, but was on friday afternoon of finals week. this means i'm in manhattan an additional two days, so although tuesday went by wonderfully, i recorded a -1 in my count down to summer.

5. wheel of fortune is the best thing ever.

6. relish won the hot dog race in the royals' home opener. jumped out of the gate early and just continued to pull away. just an statement for the rest of the season to come. ketchup and mustard don't stand a chance.

7. also my watch broke. sigh.


-ap.