IT'S A TRAP.

...i've always wanted to use that blog title.

i'm not sure if people saw this, but apparently someone went around setting up "hipster traps" in new york city - fake ray-bans, american spirit cigarettes, a pbr, holga camera and a bike chain on a large bear trap. let's take a moment to reflect on how perfectly hilarious this is.

hipsters are so funny to me. and funny is the perfect word because they fit both definitions of the word: i literally laugh at them, but i'm also so perplexed by their peculiar ways. they may be the first trendy lifestyle that is completely aware of their strangeness. most labeled groups aren't conscious of how ridiculously classic they are - ditzes are oblivious, computer programmers look down on others and think they're the most un-weird people around, drama kids like to sing musical renditions in public settings completely unaware of their embarrassment - but hipters totally understand who they are and are just fine with falling into a perfect stereotype. funny haha, yet funny peculiar as well.

i posted a link on my twitter to the traps knowing full well that my abundance of followers would want to share in my chortle. the next day i received a response via google buzz from a friend of mine that said:

"what would be in your trap?"

at first i was stunned. because i realized that, just like the hipsters, i certainly fall under a certain umbrella too - the only difference being that my umbrella is much smaller than theirs. i recovered well - i soon was able to fully embrace myself, and i started thinking about the five items that would be found in an "apc trap".

i felt like there needed to be some rules too - obviously i'd be enticed by an iPad or a $100 bill, but wouldn't everyone? the things needed to be relatively inexpensive, and enticing to me and very few others. my list had to be of equivalent value to the items on the hipster traps. so i needed to put a dollar value on the items and match them accordingly.

so, here are the items i came up with:

• pabst blue ribbon: $2
  my replacement: a lego boba fett keychain
  last time i was in chicago i picked up an admiral ackbar and a stormtrooper at the lego store on michigan ave for $2.50 on sale. i could do a chewbacca, C3PO or lando too. even greedo.
  
  
• american spirit cigarettes: $5
  my replacement: a pack of 2010 Bowman Chrome baseball cards
  the hobby packs retail between $4 and $7 depending where you go. i still want that bryce harper usa card, but i could certainly also go for a stephen strasburg, or a jason heyward auto or an aroldis chapman red prospect.
  
  
• yellow bike chain: $10
  my replacement: "rome" - danger mouse & daniele luppi
  actually, this would come in the form of a $10 iTunes gift card right now because the album doesn't actually drop until may 17, but i've pre-ordered it on iTunes for $9.99. producer danger mouse (cee lo's partner in gnarls barkley, creator of the grey album - jay-z's black album mashed with the beatles' white album, half of the duo broken bells) is duking it out with kanye west and the neptunes for my favorite producer(s) in the music business, and supposedly this collab with luppi (an italian producer and composer whom i honestly know nothing about) is five years in the making and it's what danger mouse is truly most passionate about. it was recorded in a church-converted-studio in rome and utilizes vintage instruments and was inspired by the pair's love for 60's italian film soundtracks. all i know is that if DM is amped about it, then so am i.
  
  
• fake ray-bans: $20
  my replacement: a dharma initiative metal lunchbox - anyone who loves LOST like i do understands the awesomeness of the dharma initiative and would pounce on that trap if saw something so awesome. would i actually use it to take my lunch in? not a chance. i'd use it to keep secret items in: memories, artifacts, ancient coins, prized possessions, etc. i'd probably hide it under a floor board or in a vault behind a photo of abe lincoln on my wall or something.
  
  
• holga camera: $35
  my replacement: two tickets to a royals or cardinals game in a stadium i've never been to before. like san francisco, or new york, or seattle or boston, or los angeles. cheap seats would be fine - whatever price value is equivalent to a holga camera works for me. one of the greatest aspects of baseball is the beauty of the stadiums. the grass, the dirt, the irregular outfield wall shapes with nooks and brick walls...or that strange hill in houston. it's a gorgeous game and tickets to anywhere would be super rad.

that trap would clamp down on my ankle in a heartbeat, and it might even be worth it. now it's your turn: what would be in your trap?

-apc.

happy birthday to john buck (the all-star himself).

july 7, 1980, kemmerer, wyoming - greatness was born. and here we are, 30 years later, and greatness is traveling to his first all-star game.

let's be completely honest - none of us saw this coming. even the most devout fans had not considered mr. incredible to be a serious all-star game candidate. even when he was a member of the "we send one player because every team gets to send one player" royals.

who knew that when the royals traded him away to toronto he would receive the 3rd most votes among american league catchers? and sure, he's only getting to play because victor martinez is hurt and the AL needed a replacement. but the reality is that John Buck is traveling to Anaheim this weekend to play in the all-star game. the ALL-STAR GAME. WHAT.

can i add his American League jersey to my wedding registry? or can i start taking up donations so that i can get it? or you could just go buy it for me here? i simply must own it.

back on march 31, i put together a quick blog comparing buck and jason kendall's spring training statistics. for the most part, john was making kendall look like a joke (coincidentally his initials are JK - interesting). kendall was batting .139 to buck's .304. you can read more here.

lets look at their halfway point stats:

buck - .269 avg, .502 slg, 13 hr, 40 rbi.
kendall - .267 avg, .319 slg, 0 hr, 29 rbi.

not even a contest. also, can we look at my season predictions for JB?!

.268 avg, .524 slg, 18 hr, 84 rbi

could he be anymore on pace to NAIL those numbers? i mean literally, do i know my favorite player or what?!

also there are only two catchers on the AL roster. joe mauer and john buck. good company for sure - here's to hoping that john comes in for mauer for some late inning heroics. perhaps a walk-off dinger?! all-star mvp?! ooooooo man - the possibilities! i'll be tuning in for sure.*

enjoy your birthday john. hope your trip to anaheim didn't spoil any vacation plans you had for your birthday weekend. hopefully they added to the festivities.

-ap.

and ps: wikipedia has it listed that buck throws....switch!? i'm researching this

* - i can say things like this now that i have directv. holler.

willie bloomquist/clean-up.

"Kansas City's cleanup hitters "hit" a combined .211/.280/.315 in 2009, with just 13 home runs and 71 RBIs. In other words, just hitting Willie Bloomquist there would have been more effective."

-David Shoenfield, Page 2, ESPN.com

pre-season baseball predictions.

AL East: new york yankees
AL Central: minnesota twins
AL West: seattle mariners
AL Wild Card: boston red sox

NL East: philadelphia phillies
NL Central: st. louis cardinals
NL West: colorado rockies
NL Wild Card: los angeles dodgers

ALWC: twins over red sox
ALDS: yankees over mariners
NLWC: phillies over dodgers
NLDS: cardinals over rockies

ALCS: yankees over twins
NLCS: phillies over cardinals

WS: phillies over yankees

-apc.

kendall vs buck.

i realized today (and twittered) the following today:

"jason kendall: batting .139 with 0 homeruns for KC in spring training. john buck: .304 and 2 homers for toronto. feel the sting."

and here we see the espn player card widgets for the evil jason kendall and the incredible (or should i say, mr. incredible) john buck.


these are last years' stats, but starting on monday, these stats will morph into the 2010 regular season statistics. as you can see (unless you access this page after april 5th, then it will be the new stats), in 2009, buck led in AVG (.247 vs .241), triples (4 vs 2), homers (8 vs 2), and almost matched kendall in doubles (12 vs 19) in well less than HALF the number of at bats (186 vs 452) and games played (59 vs 134), due to splitting time with miguel olivo.

if you project buck's totals to match kendall's 452 at bats, bucks numbers for 2009 are .247 avg, 112 hits, 29 doubles, 10 triples, 19 homers, 88 rbis. not too shabby. i'm still baffled that he split time with anyone at all. anyway, looking forward...

my predictions for 2010:

buck: .268 avg, .524 slg, 18 hr, 84 rbi
kendall: .249 avg, .450 slg, 9 hr, 66 rbi

i will be keeping a close eye on john's production in toronto this season, and i will likely be referencing this post numerous times this season.

go relish.

-apc.

father/son trip to stl.

my dad and i went to st. louis this past weekend. here's our trip highlights:

throwing rocks. our favorite pasttime.


check out the cute little tugboat puttering through the arch.


bob gibson outside new busch stadium.


ozzie smith. my all-time favorite ballplayer.


view from the top row of busch stadium. so huge.


this was the time when albert pujols hit a walk-off home run to win the game in the bottom of the 9th.


oh look. a chris carpenter and yadier molina post-game photo-op.


kings cross is apparently in union station in st. louis. never knew.


budweiser brewery tour.


these are pipes. the sub-text probably isn't important on this picture, but i dont wait it to feel left out.


this is what the middle of the bud plant looks like. pretty beautiful area. also they have a free "hospitality room" that follows the free tour. i'd suggest that everyone does this tour at some point.

anyway. that was much easier than writing out all the highlights in detail. terrific weekend. a picture tells a thousand words or something like that. so there's 11,187 words for you. dang. long post.

-ap.

rbi baseball/rbi baseball 3.

when i get too frustrated with RC Pro AM, i call it quits and play RBI Baseball instead. i used to own RBI Baseball AND RBI Baseball 3. unfortunately i've managed to lose RBI 3 over the last few months because i remember playing it as recently as last semester. interesting. if someone out there stole RBI 3 from me - i'd like it back please. because 3 is so much better than the original for the following reasons:

1. you can dive and jump with your position players by using the D-Pad and hitting B. RBI 3 is a web gem machine. the diving play is by far the best feature in this game. suddenly 6-4-3 double plays becomes tons more exciting. finally, those just out of reach ground balls are fieldable, and those texas leaguers that flip just over your infielders' heads are finally catchable.

2. larger team selection. in the original, you can only play with the 10 teams: the 8 that made the playoffs in 1987 and the American and National league all-star games. you can also play with different teams from different years between 1983 and 1990 - for example, you can play with the 1982, 1985, 1987, 1989, 1990 St. Louis Cardinals. i'm not totally sure, but i think you can play as all the postseason teams in that 7 season span. that way you can replay the 1985 world series.

3. replays! with the endless web gems that are produced with the jump and dive option, there are an equal number of "i have to see that again!" moments. when you dive or jump and on any close play, there's an automatic replay. no more trying to convince your friends of the sick play you just made, and no more arguing with the "umpire" about whether or not you were safe at first. the replay will do that for you. genius addition.

4. head first slides! players are just so much more b.a. in this game than they are in the original. no more slow motion boring safety slides, these guys get dirty.

5. new songs! no more do they only have two different songs. in the original version of the game, they play one song constantly until you get a guy on base. then they play the "ba-ses-loa-ded-ba-ses-loa-ded..." song until the bases are cleared again. and then it's right back to the original tune. but in RBI 3 there are at least 4 different tunes that will come on throughout the game. AND they play the star-spangled banner before each game (well...until the 'twilight's last gleaming'). AND they play OH CANADA if you're playing the montreal expos or the toronto bluejays.

6. all the players look like a pre-steriods barry bonds instead of a post-thanksgiving dinner billy butler. in the original version, rick reuschel is his actual size on the mound for the giants. the problem is that everyone else in the game is his size too. so when you're stealing a base with, say, vince coleman or ricky henderson, it looks more like john kruk is lumbering down the base path. in RBI 3, guys are much more trim and appear to glide around the bases like john buck on a gapper to right-center.

so if someone out there knows where my copy of RBI 3 is, i'd love to have it back. i've been playing RBI Baseball and it's just not as satisfying as it's grandchild. and if anyone ever wants to play me in this game - bring it on. there's nothing more enjoyable than some serious NES trash talking.

also, this is awesome: it's the end of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, RBI Baseball style. incredible job, and a genius idea. here it is:


i made the bottom of this video orange/yellow. i like it more than the pink/red.
-ap.

sports bit.

i haven't talked about sports in a while. let's do that today.

1. john buck is batting .434 with a .525 OBP in spring training. mike macfarlane eat your heart out.

2. it's looking very likely that the chiefs will do one of two things in this year's nfl draft: with the third overall pick they will either take linebacker aaron curry from wake forest (#1 ranked player overall) or - if the lions really take OT jason smith over QB matthew stafford - they may trade down with a team like the 49ers for a later round pick and pull someone totally different. i have a feeling the chiefs may be looking to simply draft the best player available - curry, michael crabtree, eugene monroe, brian orakpo, etc. we'll see.

3. my bracket is decently intact. 12/16 isn't bad. especially when my elite 8 are all still around. pitt looks like a bum pick to win it though. favorite games so far: siena over ohio state and oklahoma state over tennessee. also i'm proud of my WKU pick. i'm also proud of my VCU and NDSU picks even though they couldn't pull it off.


4. have you guys seen how josh freeman has rocketed up the QB prospects list? he's jumped pat white and graham harrell and is now listed #3 in QBs behind stafford and mark sanchez (who's draft stock is slowly sliding). it's fun to say that i hung out with him in my Wealth, Power and Privilege class just three months ago.

just a couple quick thoughts. i'll quit blogging now. i have a life you know.

-ap.

spring training is here!

ouch. rough start fellas. good thing it's only spring training.

SCORE UPDATE:

courtesy of olivo and jacobs homers.

39 days, 20 hours and 40 minutes til opening day.
cannot wait.

-ap.

more post-season prognostication.

i don't really care to get into reasons.
but here are my new picks since i was 1/4 in the divisonal series.

alcs: rays in 6.
nlcs: dodgers in 7.

cmon rays. keep it up.

-ap.

post-season baseball prognostication.

oh, how i love october. the cardinals and royals aren't even in it, but october just oozes with excitement. this is why october is my 3rd favorite month of the year. i was forced to hammer this out quick this morning during my environmental sociology review session due to 1) a busy schedule this morning, 2. the regular season ending just last night and 3. the first game of the playoffs starting in...12 minutes. so here are my predictions for this year's divisional and wild card series:

the angels were the best team in baseball this year, and they're going to continue into the playoffs. the red sox are hurt, they're without josh beckett for the first few games at least, but even if he does get the ball, he'll get it in game 3 or 4 in fenway which likely means he'll be pitching for his team's survival. i think they win that game when he's back in game 3, but conserving the bullpen for him will cost games for the sox in games 1 ad 2. this angels team is just really good and haven't had any problems all year.
angels in 4

the white sox will win one of the two games in tampa when mark buehrle takes the mound, but otherwise i see the rays being the better all around team here. they also have something to play for too, which i don't see the white sox having. yes, tampa's new to the post-season, but they're going to continue to ride that young energy in the playoffs. the games in chicago won't be easy wins, but this team has shown heart throughout the year. and i hate the white sox.
rays in 5

this is my favorite match-up this october. i really like both of these teams, and it's unfortunate they have to play each other here. i think the brewers can win at will with sabathia on the mound, and suppan is terrific when he wants to be (see the 2006 post-season). especially when he's starting against adam eaton - arguably the most disappointing pitcher in the league this year (4-8, 5.80 ERA making $8M). i think the brewers can steal this one at the hands of suppan and sabathia (twice).
brewers in 5

i had the joy of visiting wrigley this past may, and it is a nightmare for opposing teams when the crowd is hyped, and any time the cubbies are in the post-season there is no doubt the crowd'll be in it. the dodgers snuck into the playoffs through the addition of manny ramirez, but one offensive presence doesn't win 3 of 5 games. pitching wins series, and the dodgers don't match up with the dempster, zambrano, harden. throw in home field advantage and this one might be over pretty quick. i hate zambrano, so i'll bet against him game 2, but otherwise this one belongs to chicago. ugh.
cubs in 4

ALCS: rays/angels
NLCS: cubs/brewers

see you in the championship series. cmon rays.

-ap.

wrigley.

highlight of my trip to chicago: wrigley field.

baseball in chicago is like an illness that you’re just bound to catch. i got to experience it in full force on thursday night: cubs vs rockies. it was a back-and-forth game, but ultimately errors ruined it for colorado as the cubs put up a few unearned runs to seal the victory, thus convoluting my baseball loyalty even more than had already been done.

you must know that i was raised a st. louis cardinals fan. my father’s father’s father was a fan and the fandom was passed on to me. due to the fact that I was a fetus when the royals beat the cardinals in the 1985 series, I have no understanding of the I-70 rivalry. cardinals fans dispute a bad call at first base and royals fans have nothing else to brag about and no one else to hate but the cards. i’m stuck naively in the midst of a tentative fued already.

so i’m an I-70 fan. when the kc/stl interleague series happens i’m not sure who i’m for. my heart pulls me toward kc, but my roots run deep with the cardinals.

cardinals fans,have bigger fish to fry than the guppies in kcmo. the cubs/cardinals rivalry is the only one in the majors that can even hold a candle to the yankees/red sox. and it isn’t one-sided like the cards dispute with the royals – this rivalry is decades old. these are two baseball cities. their fans are die hard and don’t go to the games for hot dog races or chunky DH replica jersey giveaways. they go for the baseball. there is no need for any special promotions or gimmicks to draw a crowd; both cities sell out their games regularly with nothing but the game. they love baseball, and i love that. kansas city doesn’t love baseball; they don’t understand and I don’t resonate with the kc baseball mindset. there is passion and energy and camaraderie in chi-town that kauffman stadium just doesn’t possess. it’s also very contagious.

so here i am rooting for the home team at wrigley field and just lapping up the excitement in the place. Everyone comes together all up and down Clark to celebrate cubs baseball. all of wrigleyville is blue and white flying huge “W” flags to celebrate a cubs win over a less than terrific rockies squad. i can’t imagine what things would be like against the cards. I’d be thoroughly shaken. the cubs have clever memorabilia, tradition, and Old Style draft. it is classic baseball at its finest. everyone is into the game – people STAND AND CHEER without the assistance of a flashy “NOISE” or bogus “FAN-O-METER” graphic. kansas city folk don’t understand baseball. they just don’t get it. it goes beyond the game. It’s the atmosphere.

am i a cubs fan after thursday’s game? not necessarily. but i respect their fans and wish i could be apart of their environment. kauffman stadium is weaksauce. royals games typically contain 5 highlights for me: the condiment race (1) and each time john buck comes to the plate (2 through 5). but those aren’t things i’m on board with 40.000 people with – heck the condiment race even creates disagreement amongst like-minded fans – and although jb-fever is sweeping the nation and explodes for 4 at bats each game, it doesn’t make the other 23 outs in the game any more exciting*.

my loyalties are so messed up nowadays, but I’m fine with that. Hate if you want, i’m just a fan of baseball and the atmosphere it creates. and if you share my excitement for the game then i’m a fan of yours too. so here’s to you north side chicago – you do it right and I hope I can be a bigger part of that atmosphere in the years to come.

-ap.

* - this is an incredibly subtle jab at the royals and jb. harsh really.

go relish.

i rest my case.

-ap.

excerpt from buck.

reporter: do you ever have a bad day?
buck o'neil: what is that?
reporter: really. do you ever have a bad day?
buck: no. there are no bad days.
reporter: but you would have so much reason to be bitter...
buck: i stayed at some of the best hotels in the world. they just happened to be black hotels. i ate at some of the best restaurants in the world. they just happened to be black restaurants. in fact, those were better than most of the white restaurants because some of the best cooks in the world at the time were black.
reporter: but i guess someone would say to you: how could you not hate?
buck: where does hate get you?

- The Soul of Baseball: A Road Trip Through Buck O'Neil's America - Joe Posnanski

-ap.