love is the solution.

i'm becoming increasingly cynical and skeptical of the notion of change in this world. there's so much wrong with this country - this planet actually - that it seems like we'll never solve anything. i was talking with a friend of mine yesterday about how when i was in elementary school there wasn't a war going on overseas like there is now...so what was the problem back then? there's always something. i don't know what life without war and struggle. i don't know a world without race and class disparity. so when i read articles and have conversations with people about how messed up things are and how unfair this planet is i get pretty discouraged. and whats worse - i find myself shrugging my shoulders more so than ever in my life.

yes. i know that even the slightest bit helps, and that sometimes the smallest and most insignificant of things can create success and joy of immeasurable magnitude. but there are some days when i find it so discouraging. there will always be something wrong with this world and the more there is to save it, the more i find it failing, and the more i open my heart and mind to educate myself about the hurt and unfairness in this world the more i feel like i'm doing nothing to change anything and nothing to improve it. even when i actually take physical strides and formulate active plans to begin change i can't help but notice all the points where i could be doing more and where others could be doing more as well.

i can give some money, but money only goes so far in solving problems. i can give food, but its only a matter of time before hunger strikes again - i've only temporarily solved the problem. i can devise a new curriculum for a school or implement a new program to help solve the issues of injustice in communities that need my time and effort, but all ideas have flaws and who's to say that these new ideas are any better than the countless ideas that have been tried and failed before?

this is a pretty pessimistic and unhappy post thus far. if you hardly made it this far then i don't blame you. it's just so often that i find myself wondering if anything anyone does is good enough, and that's a discouraging thought for anyone to have.

of course, the thought that i eventually come to is that ultimately the answer is Jesus and that no matter how messed up this planet is - this is not the whole story and that eventually love wins.

the other question i find myself asking is that if people deny Christ and truly don't believe that love eventually wins...what do they live for? if i were a nonbeliever and i took into account this unfair and inhumane world...i'd be like, "eff that. i quit." obviously i don't use such harsh phrases as a believer (right), but in all seriousness, what would there be to live for? my own temporary success? why would i give a crap about anyone else on this planet if i didn't believe in the Gospel? what would be my purpose? i simply don't understand what the motivation behind thoughts and actions would be if Christ wasn't in the picture.

at the end of these dark and frustrating days i think what we as Christians need to realize is that there are people out there that don't have the same motivation to live as we do. and that while there is suffering and injustice and struggle in this world, the story isn't about making other people's lives easier or more fun or providing them with material needs, but that with those needs ought to come the love of Christ and an encouragement that goes beyond just solving their immediate problem.

"whatever you do - in word or deed - do for the name of Christ Jesus.*" i guess that's what i'm saying. every step we take toward making this planet a better place, we ought to step forward accompanied with Christ's love. no agenda, no budget, no framework for success - Christ's love ought to trump all.

so i guess our goal isn't to just provide. but to provide Christ. this world was messed up when i was born and it'll be messed up when i die. but Christ can grow on earth while i'm here. so that should be my goal. love is the solution.

funny how frustrated ramblings always end up being Scriptural. interesting.

-ap.

*colossians 3:17