crushes.

one thing that i have going for me in this whole sex-crazed world we live in today is that i am much more inclined to have two types of crushes instead of your typical guy/girl crush.

1) man-crushes: the list includes - billy walker, michael cera, kanye west, lebron james, john buck, justin timberlake, vince young, chris brown, jared allen, dwayne bowe, jamaal tinsley, will smith, nick welch, so taguchi, relish, adrian peterson, danger mouse, john mayer, kevin durant, jeremiah johnson.

there are probably many more on the list, but for times sake i'll move on.

2) fictional-female-characters-crushes: the list includes - hermione granger.

thats pretty much the story. some might argue that i've had my fair share of celebrity crushes in the past (mandy moore, kelly clarkson, serena williams), but those are only half serious (well, kelly and serena are anyway). i think somewhere in my mind i know that those are COMPLETELY irrational though.

how's that for making no sense at all? i think what i mean is that i can't dream of those. i can always dream of hermione and no one can ever think i'm shallow and no one can ever be jealous or think i'm being dumb. cause they all THINK its a joke.

and as far as the man-crushes go - guys are just too awesome. and no one can deny that the list i've layed out above is made up entirely of awesome individuals. (possibly with the exception of relish - there is the occasional ketchup and mustard loser out there).

anyway. thats that.

-ap.

baby girl, how are you?

first of all: read this article.

i think this is absolutely hilarious. first of all, i feel like the dude at the cell phone place did it on purpose, cause if paris hilton shows up in my store i'm going to try and figure out some way to punk her, and i think this dude took a pretty legit route. too bad Barlow didnt send back any ridiculously fake text message responses. cause she had to have had an idea of what was going on when people kept calling her 'Paris' at 2 am. i mean how many bizonkers party animals can be named after foreign cities? let alone Paris? i think if i could choose a foreign city for a name i'd probably pick 'Istanbul' and go by 'Stan'....and maybe i could have a sister called 'Rio de Janeiro' and she could go by 'Jan'....anyway. i feel like she could've said a TON of completely stupid things in response..."sorry. can't talk right now...i'm eating a Colossal Dog*." something like that would have gone over terrific i think.

Paris Hilton would be a terrific person to have this happen to also. you'd get some seriosuly great insight into her life and, at the same time, you'd get to mess around with the life of a hot shot like her behind her back. i started thinking about what celebrity i'd want to be mistaken for...and i came up with teh following Top 3:

1) barry bonds. i could then throw down some seriously incriminating text messages. things like "yeah. i took 'roids. so what. they'll never find out." or "i dont mind if i have an astrisk...it'll just bring more attention to my name on all the leaderboards." or "i eat babies." but i have a feeling that none of these would get the guy chucked out of baseball...i'd be relying on someone on the other end being active and telling someone of some importance that barry had said something to him - unless it WAS someone important texting him. like Bud Selig. Goodbye career. yeah right. they'd find out it was me.

2) justin timberlake. no real reason...i think i'd just like to be mistaken for him in some way or form.

3) mandy moore. duh. cause then there would be the slim chance to meet her and laugh with her about what a terrific misunderstanding it was. plus then she's know my phone number cause it was her OLD number and i hint something like that she could call her old number whenever she wants....then eventually we'd probably have kids together or something.

-ap.

* - a Kaufmann Stadium fav.

oh mandy.

my roommates, being the observant and understanding roommates that they are, are fully aware of my love for this woman. usually i would say that celebrity crushes are ridiculous. i will concede, however, that they're perfectly alright if they are my celebrity crush. i would in no way make fun of anyone who owned and watched Chasing Liberty alone from time to time, nor would you i hope. perfectly normal and totally understandable.

my roommate, john, agreeing with me in this outlook, did not hesitate to share with me this article.

it is a rather bittersweet article for me to be honest. depression sucks. especially when it is mandy moore, and being the caring and loving individual i am i wish i could do something about it. i would gladly be there to wipe away mandy's tears if need be. however, the mix-match of emotions ensues here when i realize that my motivation for tear-wiping is undoubtedly ignited due to a heightened level of excitement seeing that she is single. now is the moment when i come in and sweep her off her feet in her ever-so-vulnerable state. yes. how adorable.

and the day is mine.

and mandy, if you happen to be reading this, i can understand if you're ultra-creeped out. i would be too. granted you're probably used to this sort of thing. you undoubtedly have some serious fan admiration that i undoubtedly lack largely due to four key facts:
1. you're a famous actress.
2. you're a famous musician.
3. you're gorgeous (see photo).
4. and i am none of those things.

ps. feel free to leave your number. i'm very single.

-ap.