lady gaga.

"there are two types of people in this world: those who like neil diamond, and those who don't."

-Bill Murray as Bob Wiley, What About Bob?

my reason for kicking off this post with that quote is two fold: first,there are a handful of neil diamond fans (or at least sweet caroline fans) who read my blog whom i am specifically hoping will be attracted to this post now that i've dropped his name. second, it appears the quote can be said for Lady Gaga as well.

however, i'm not sure Bob Wiley's quote can be translated to Lady Gaga in exactly the same way as it is to neil. instead, the quote ought to read more like...

"there are two types of people in this world: those who understand and admit that Lady Gaga is terrific, and those who are too concerned with social implications to put themselves totally out there for public scrutiny."

sure. she's a freak. i mean cmon. she's created this stage name that has become a lifestyle. here life is either an incredible act - like something out of The Prestige - where she has chosen to accept this lifestyle for the success of her career, or she truly has bought into the insanity of her character and truly is as freaky-wacky-nutso as she comes across.

but that's not what i care about. how could i? my favorite artist has the biggest ego of anyone in the music biz and repeatedly embarrasses himself on a national stage. if i really cared about the person BEHIND the music, i would've dumped kanye west years ago. and while we're at it - amy winehouse is likely in my top 5 artists too. as i stated following the VMA's back in september: "i have a history of liking freaks as long as they put out good music."

Lady Gaga can join the club.

i am also someone who falls hard for the catchy tracks. i don't understand when people say stuff like "it's just so catchy" as if it's a bad thing. isn't that what makes it so appealing? i guess i'm under the assumption that catchy makes music better - music is fun. and catchy is fun. however, that doesn't mean i'm just going to run out there and buy the album. there are so many artists who throw out a random catchy track and have nothing to follow it up. (read: ke$ha).

then there are other artists who have a bunch of catchy tracks, but they end up all sounding the same and listeners get very bored, very fast. (read: sean kingston, akon...nickelback would fit here if they had at least one good song. they all sound the same, but they all really suck.)

the thing about Lady G - her tracks are ALL catchy. and they're ALL different. and they're ALL GREAT. i'm not sure i've ever experienced an album that is so catchy from start to finish.

but the Fame Monster is actually two albums shoved into one release: The Fame and The Fame Monster are two discs that stand apart in one deluxe set. The Fame came out first and heralded popular tracks like "Just Dance", "Poker Face", "Paparazzi", and "LoveGame". Then instead of putting out a totally different record - she slapped an 8-track work of genius on the front of The Fame - with tracks like "Bad Romance" and "Telephone" - and released The Fame Monster as a 24-track set.

24 tracks. and they are all terrific.

and if you've developed your perspective on LG from the long list radio singles above, then you really don't have a true perspective on her work. in fact, the ones that haven't hit the radio are the true gems in the set. after a month of dedicated listening, "Teeth", "Paper Gangsta", "Starstruck", and "Disco Heaven" stand out as my 4 favorite tracks - none of which have hit the airwaves yet.

...okay okay, "Bad Romance" is among my favorites too.

...and "Just Dance" definitely gets me bumpin.

...and Beyonce absolutely kills it on "Telephone". wow.

...and "Alejandro", while silly, has an awesome Ace of Base vibe to it.

...and "Boys Boys Boys" rules.

see what i mean? this is what you're dealing with when you pick up this album. it's just stacked with killer tracks - tracks that i've been friendly enough to link over and again so that you can follow to them and understand what i mean.

i could probably write more and more, but there's a great chance that no one has followed me to this point anyway. but i will add this: in my humble opinion, there hasn't been an album with this many hits since justin timberlake released futuresex/lovesounds in Aug 2007. which i had very extensive thoughts about back in the day. back in the 3 weeks i had a myspace blog.*

i realize that i haven't spoken much about style, genius, how she writes her own stuff, how she went to school and was a musical prodigy at the age of 4. but that's for another time. and believe me, i'll have plenty of time. she's younger than i am...by 2 weeks. so if she keeps this up over the next 20+ years?! yikes. we may be dealing with LG's poker face for a long time...jackpot.

i'll have plenty of words on the LG in the future.

-apc.

* - awkward blogging times. i was in between internet identities...but hey, remember sthanga? i used to have such a crush on break_my_heart_baby.

somewhat immediate thoughts on the 2009 VMAs.

okay. so i first started writing about the VMAs in my facebook status, but then i started getting carried away and started writing paragraphs in the tiny little "What's on your mind?" box and decided i ought to just write it on my blog.

there are a few things that need to be addressed in regards to the VMAs. ready break:

number 1: kanye west is a jack hole. i mean, we were all thinking it 'ye - taylor swift is a no-talent clown who has somehow made it big in a questionable genre (in the VMAs eyes...also my eyes) - but you didn't have to go and throw her under the bus in front of the entire nation. she's 19 bro. just cause she makes millions of dollars she may or may not deserve doesn't mean you have to destroy her self esteem for years to come. do i agree that beyonce's video was better (and that this dude's was even better), but that's low. even for you.

number 2: empire state of mind is the best track jay-z has released since the black album. kingdom come and american gangster...not hov's greatest work. not that they weren't dece - they were - but blueprint 3 is the first album since 2003 that i've really been stunned by. more about BP3 in another post probably - for now, it is suffice to say that he and alicia keys'* performance in the VMAs tonight was absolutely bonkers. i literally jumped out of my bed and started pumping my fist before jay even uttered a syllable. i had a lump in my throat the entire performance. good grief.

* - again...possessive names ending in "S"...possessive of "keys"? keys's? keys'? keyses? this language is so stupid.

number 3: beyonce is a robot. when i consider each of the following - her voice, her body, and her dance moves - this is the only solution i can ever arrive at. no real person should be capable of being...that. she is powerful and, like her husband, absolutely killed it when she performed "all the single ladies (put a ring on it)". i mean seriously. she has to be a robot. i challenge you to derive a better conclusion. until i hear one i will continue to believe that jay-z is married to a machine.

number 4: the grammy for best hip hop album of 2035 goes to: shawn carter, JR!!! i'm telling you, if beyonce is indeed a human being and is capable of reproduction, and she and jay-z have a couple kiddos - you better believe that my offspring will be obsessed with anything and everything they do. you wait and see. those kids are destined for greatness. there is nothing they could do to screw it up.

number 5: lady gaga is a freak. also her performance was lip synced for sure. sounded pretty tight though. i have a history of liking freaks as long as they put out good music. the verdict is still out on LG.

number 6: the michael jackson tribute was perfect. oh my goodness. the most synced and beautifully immitated dance routine i've ever witnessed. music videos are impressive - MJ's especially - but they're still videos. you can take 5- 10- 20 takes before you get the perfect choreograph sequence down, but to watch the sequence perfectly matched live on stage?! brilliant. absolutely brilliant. and when janet -ahem- busts out of the background! i literally gasped and clapped. i don't think a better tribute could've been done...maybe if they played more quincy jones tracks. but that's just me getting greedy.

okay. i think that pretty much covers all my immediate thoughts. just had to get it all out of my system before i went to sleep. otherwise my heart would be racing and i'd toss and turn all night. but now i can go to bed in peace. except that 'all the single ladies' is rolling through my head. worth it.

best VMAs i can remember: kanye made a fool of himself, MJ was honored, and the shawn carter family have totally got some chops. definitely some chops indeed.

-ap.