osama bin laden is dead.

osama bin laden is dead, and our nation is celebrating heartily.

a man who orchestrated the deaths of thousands of people was brought to justice yesterday at the hands of the united states military. almost ten years after september 11, our government has finally taken out the man they swore to find and kill.

this is potentially problematic for those of us who identify as both americans and christians.

on the one hand we want to celebrate with our nation because the man who epitomized evil in our eyes finally faced what he had forced so many others to face: death. even as christians we are to seek justice and strive to eliminate darkness.

Micah 6:8 - He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Psalm 106:3 - Blessed are they who maintain justice, who constantly do what is right.

Isaiah 1:17 - Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

yet at the same time, we remember the words of Jesus concerning evil:

Matthew 5:39 - But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

Matthew 5:43-45 - You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

so already there is some conflict with how to respond as christians. act justly, but love mercy. we are to defend those who have lost loved ones, but pray for those who persecute them. seek justice, but if someone strikes your cheek, offer them the other one. this is certainly one of those times where we wish God was a little more explicit in his opinion on what justice looks like in a nasty world.

thus, the conflict i felt last night as i watched the nation rejoice. was justice served yesterday? was the murder of a murderer a justifiable act? i felt that we had fought for those who had lost loved ones. our nation was defending the widow and fighting for the fatherless. justice was being sought, but was the death of osama bin laden something Jesus celebrating?

Leviticus 19:15 - 'Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.

Romans 12:19 - Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

Ephesians 4:31-32 - Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

justice is for God to decide. he will have his vengeance if he wants to have his vengeance. we are to forgive others and allow God to judge the unrighteous. killing osama bin laden is something that i struggle with because it's broken human beings bestowing judgement upon another broken human being. when we decided that someone is worthy of death we are judging them as only God can. do i think God would've judged him the same way at the time? probably. but more than anything else, God seeks redemption.

Ezekiel 33:11 - As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live.

God takes pleasure in wicked people turning from their ways. there is no pleasure in the death of the wicked.

a few days ago i was watching a national geographic film called "science of evil". part of the story centered around serial killer jeffrey dahmer. dahmer was convicted of murdering 17 men from 1978-1991. these murders were the some of the most gruesome the world had ever seen.

after three years of his life sentence, dahmer requested to have a pastor come to the prison and baptize him. the pastor interviewed him about repentance, salvation, and reconciliation, and after a lengthy discussion, determined that jeffrey dahmer's motives were legitimate and he was baptized in a bath tub right there in the jail.

just months following his baptism, dahmer was murdered by a fellow inmate. 15 years later, the pastor was interviewed about his experience and he maintains that he fully expects to see jeffrey dahmer in heaven someday. there was still good in him. [insert darth vader reference here]

we can celebrate the redemption of jeffrey dahmer. we do not celebrate his actions, but we can absolutely celebrate his deliverance. one can only assume that we cannot celebrate the redemption of osama bin laden. i wish we could. i wish we at least had hope that we could.

one can argue that the 3,000+ lives on the hands of osama bin laden is vastly greater than the 17 gruesome murders committed by dahmer, and i would likely agree with that stance. my point is that pure evil is abundant in this world, that we cannot deny.

1 Peter 5:8 - Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

evil is on the prowl, and it will always be on the prowl. we should be alert and seek justice as best as we humanly can. but God does not celebrate with us in the death of a wicked man. i wish there was another way. it is so good to fight for those who need it - the fatherless, the widows, the poor, the sick - and i think american was right in seeking justice. i'm not certain that america's concept of justice is the same as that of God's.

i just wish that osama bin laden had the opportunity to be won over by Jesus Christ. that's all. maybe there was still good in him. who are we to say there wasn't?

i'm happy for the families who have been in mourning for the last 10 years seeking justice. i'm happy that they feel vindicated, but i'd be even happier if i knew that bin laden could be redeemed.

-apc.

the greatest story ever.

i am in a book club with a handful of my closest guy friends. it was suggested by someone that we read this book called "water for elephants" which was supposed to be a real gem.

we were reluctant at first - the book was written by a woman and this is the "ultra manly book club" (iUMBC* for short) - but we all agreed that if it was so highly acclaimed that this book must be worth some literary value.

we should have followed our hunch - the book is awful.**

the book developed well at first. it was entertaining and interesting and had all the details that made you ask, "man, how is the author ever going to get this story to come together in the end?" i like books like that. books that make you think there are going to be loose ends, but end up coming together beautifully in the end. where you turn the last page and you think, "wow. that was impressive work."

then suddenly, about 2/3 of the way through the book - on page 299 - [spoiler alert/saving you the frustration] two minor characters with developing story lines are thrown off a train to their deaths. no resolution. no answers. no real reason - they are just ditched from the story, and the reader is left to wonder why they cared so much about their well being in the first place.

the Bible does not do things like this.

the Bible is a mysteriously ancient book full of questions, creation, destruction, war, letters, songs, prophecies and stories. there are thousands of pages. there are countless stories - some historical, some metaphorical, some prophetical. the first 2/3 of the christian Bible - the old testament - is comprised of 39 different books written by a bunch of different people, but despite its varying authors, tones and styles, all the pieces fit together to develop the most incredible back story ever written. and what makes the Bible even more amazing is that everything comes together in the end. there are zero loose ends.

everything is fulfilled to perfection.

tonight i had the privilege of partaking in a passover seder dinner with this year's confirmation class and their parents. i had never had been to one of these jewish traditions before, and i didn't know exactly what to expect. i knew it would be a lot of symbolic foods and actions that pertain to the delivering of the Israelites from Egypt following the Exodus "passover". that's about all i knew.

i was amazed at the power of this meal. every piece of this Jewish tradition pointed to Jesus. granted, we read a modified script that detailed exactly how each piece of the dinner perfectly foretold the coming, suffering, dying and ressurecting of our Lord. i found myself thinking, "how can anyone read this text and be blind to how wonderfully Jesus fulfills everything foretold in the Scriptures?"

in Exodus, God sends an angel of death to Egypt to kill every first born son - man and animal - and the only way to avoid being subject to this killing is to kill an unblemished lamb and - without breaking any bones - spread it's blood across the doorframe of your house. that is what will save you from death.

1000 years before he was even born, God was already pointing toward Jesus - the sinless man who would bleed to death while hanging on a wooden cross.

just as the Israelites were delivered from bondage, so we are delivered. through the death of this "lamb" that was foretold about 1000, 800, 600, 450 years before he even shows up. the links between the old and new testaments are too perfect to be anything but God-breathed.

as we near the beginning of Holy Week, i am struck more powerfully than ever before by story of our God and how perfect his ways are. there are no loose ends or unexplained storylines. everything works together exactly how it should.

and that includes my storyline.
and it includes your storyline.

the same unchanging God who delivered his people from the grip of Pharoah, the same God who parted the Red Sea. the same God who miraculously provided food and water for his people in the desert. the same God who spoke to his prophets. the same God who sent his foretold son so that we too may be delivered.

that same God - the one who knitted us in our mother's womb and set us apart by his grace - has included you and me in his perfect story. and you better believe that he isn't going to chuck us off a train and dispose of our storylines because he's having trouble working us into his perfect plan.

cause clearly, that's not something our God does.
just look at the book he wrote.

-apc.

* - the "i" has since been added because one of our members is now in the country of columbia - making the word "international" essential to our title.

** - and i'm going to go out on a limb that the movie will be entirely worse. casting cedric diggory/mr. twilight/robert pattinson as the protagonist was the perfect move in making a bad book into a worse movie.

what makes me feel alive?

- general mysteriousness and detective work.
- intentionally digesting a new album.
- a quality ipa.
- LOST references.
- star wars everything.
- bringing on the cats.
- jumping into bodies of water.
- planning life with my future wife.
- spontaneous rhyming.
- sizing up a room and determining how we would fare in Survivor.
- throwing rocks.
- storytelling.
- my two beautiful and genius sisters.
- understanding and actually feeling that i am an integral part of God's story.
- my initials...

-apc.

getting out of the way.

it's interesting how easily we can get in the way of the work God is doing.

we can develop programs, create events and micro-manage details to the point that we're limiting the power of God to what our own structure can handle. we end up putting the Holy Spirit within our own parameters rather than trying to figure out what steps we need to take to catch up to the work the Spirit is already doing in our ministries.

it'd be interesting to see how effective our ministries could be if we quit worrying about the details, and started showing up with open arms expecting God to show up and lead instead.

-apc.

you are my dancing rhythm.

sometimes life is so good and other times life is so miserable that you don't think you can handle it. other times you get a wonderful blend of those two lives. that is where my life currently dwells.

life is pushing along and i'm finding hope and joy in so many things. i'm growing and developing a deeper love with others as well as my Father, but just as i think i'm reaching a level of joy that i haven't found in quite a while something happens that makes me feel completely alone. regardless the scenario, i find myself taking refuge in Him, and that excites me. in the good, He's there to smile with. and in the crappy, He's there to cry with. and when i end sentences with prepositions and start them with conjunctions He doesn't care, cause He loves my flaws.

life is getting rougher. i regularly feel like i'm being torn in two. i feel mature and naive simultaneously. guilty and free. confident and embarrassed. disgusted and in love. furious and timid. sometimes i feel like Satan is sitting on the bed next to me whispering in my ear that i should run away from it all - "just leave it behind and let it sort itself out. you're not responsible for everything around here." and while this is true, i realize that Satan is a coward and a deceiver. running away is for those kids of cowards. not me. luckily, i realize that Satan is a major SOB and that my God has my life under his control.

i apologize for being almost entirely too vague. i told myself from day one of blogging (lameduck - february 11, 2004), that i refused to allow myself to utilize blogging as a public venting tool, and i don't want to unleash negativity and borderline depressing thoughts on you. i wanted to dedicate this mug to my readers, not myself. it was to inform about my life, my thoughts, what i've learned and what i hope brings joy to YOUR life. not my own.*

so in that spirit, i'd like to share the following: God is good. always.

i think that is the thought i keep coming back to in this life right now. He has it figured out and knows whats best for the whole. so while things may look bleak at the moment, He's not going to let me out of his hand...the Bible says that somewhere. i think in John.

i guess thats essentially what i have to share with you tonight. deep? not particularly. new information? not at all. but, instead of the 57 things that could be destroying my emotions tonight and tearing up my heart, THIS is what remains on my mind and in my heart at 9:00 pm on a sunday night. simply that God is good. i feel like that needs to be in all caps and on its own line. and bolded.

GOD IS GOOD.

there. but for now - i'm going to bed. i'm running on empty and i refuse to rely on red bull until at least monday morning. its not really a goal. its just tomorrow.

-ap.


* - that is not to say i gain no joy from blogging. hopefully you gain joy from my blogging. henceforth, i am joyful too.