dear pat sajak,

so a funny thing happened this evening: pat sajak commented on my last blog. yes, the real pat sajak. at first, i was skeptical. i thought "this has to be fake. no way pat sajak has the time to comment on my blog. it's gotta be an imposter."

but then, since i am a detective, i got to the bottom of it...

i checked my sitemeter's recent history by location.

second listing down: baltimore, maryland. that one had to be the source of the comment because the one before it was my own visit from manhattan, ks.

then i checked his profile on wikipedia to discover the following line: "The couple splits time between Severna Park, Maryland, and Manhattan Beach, California."

severna park is 20 miles south of baltimore.

so unless there is someone in pat sajak's hometown posing as the man himself, the commenter was indeed the real pat sajak.

gulp. holy smokes.

pat, i am seriously hoping that you will read this follow-up blog as well. i mean no disrespect to your life as a game show host. clearly you worked hard to achieve the life you have attained and it was wrong of me to reduce your hard work to sheer luck. my hope is that you'll accept my apology - because i also must inform you of the following four facts:

1. wheel of fortune is my absolute favorite television show. i have watched it since i was a small child. my favorite episode of all time: when there was a contestant named "A". that's probably been 15 years ago now.
2. i have applied to be on your show three different times. i even claimed that my favorite nascar driver was jeff gordon in an attempt to make it on to "nascar week". i hate nascar.
3. i have officially joined the Wheel Watchers Club. my SpinID is AC6480822.
4. i am a generally nice person. in fact, i found out today that there is a facebook application called "nicest person" and i am currently leading in votes among my friends. i will admit, if there was an application called "most conceted person" i'd be in the running for that as well.

i hope you were not offended by my previous post pat. you (as well as vanna and the show itself) have been very important to my evening ritual for many many years, and it pains me to think that i have insulted my favorite show's host.

so with great sincerity i say, i'm sorry. i hope this blog finds you well. see you tomorrow night at 6:30 PM CST.

-ap.

p.s. - i suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask - is there any way you could pull some strings to get me on the show? it would be a dream come true. thanks so much.

sorry ben.

i need to apologize to ben folds for publicly bashing his new album online. i was naive and had clearly not digested enough of your album to write a decent album review. Way to Normal is pretty great. not life-changing, but great. i still think you've gotten angry, or maybe you just fooled me all those years with songs like "brick" and "jesusland". i guess you've just taken your anger and put it into pretty chords and terrific harmonies.

you rule man. i'm sorry. you're still in my favorite artists on facebook.

-ap.