April 13, 2009

some advice to trey hillman regarding john buck.

the royals are 2-0 with john buck in the line-up. they are 1-3 without him.

john buck leads the team in batting avg, home runs and runs batted in...in 1/3 as many at bats.

john buck is batting .500 and slugging 1.000

billy butler is batting .059 and slugging .118.

my advice to trey hillman is this: bench billy butler and start john buck as DH.

and if the stats don't influence you enough, allow me to submit my own personal opinion:
john buck is the best.
billy butler is the worst.
john buck is harder, better, faster, stronger.
billy butler is a tub of Land O' Lakes.
john buck has a history of saving small children named Timmy from wells.
billy butler has a history of forgetting about the peanut butter sandwich in his back pocket and accidentally sitting on it.
john buck has a history of uprooting sequoias with his bare hands.
billy butler has a history of stealing bo jackson's number and rendering it despicable.

i will add that if you do this you are certain to make at least $100 more for your franchise through ticket, parking and concession sales to me alone. not to mention the countless other john buck enthusiasts i have created since you drafted mr. incedible 5 years ago.

thanks for your time, trey. i trust you will do the right thing.

-ap.

2 comments:

luke said...

no kidding! olivo was 0-3 with 3 Ks today despite the win. bring back the buck!

Eric Tobin Rapley said...

For the record, the Royals didn't draft the father of Cooper Buck, but acquired him in a Carlos Beltran trade. You may also want to point out that they don't have a "Butler Night" at the K where they sell hotdogs, peanuts and soda for reasonable prices. If they don't promote John Buck to a starting position soon, then he should run for mayor of Kansas City, MO.