happy birthday to john buck (the all-star himself).

july 7, 1980, kemmerer, wyoming - greatness was born. and here we are, 30 years later, and greatness is traveling to his first all-star game.

let's be completely honest - none of us saw this coming. even the most devout fans had not considered mr. incredible to be a serious all-star game candidate. even when he was a member of the "we send one player because every team gets to send one player" royals.

who knew that when the royals traded him away to toronto he would receive the 3rd most votes among american league catchers? and sure, he's only getting to play because victor martinez is hurt and the AL needed a replacement. but the reality is that John Buck is traveling to Anaheim this weekend to play in the all-star game. the ALL-STAR GAME. WHAT.

can i add his American League jersey to my wedding registry? or can i start taking up donations so that i can get it? or you could just go buy it for me here? i simply must own it.

back on march 31, i put together a quick blog comparing buck and jason kendall's spring training statistics. for the most part, john was making kendall look like a joke (coincidentally his initials are JK - interesting). kendall was batting .139 to buck's .304. you can read more here.

lets look at their halfway point stats:

buck - .269 avg, .502 slg, 13 hr, 40 rbi.
kendall - .267 avg, .319 slg, 0 hr, 29 rbi.

not even a contest. also, can we look at my season predictions for JB?!

.268 avg, .524 slg, 18 hr, 84 rbi

could he be anymore on pace to NAIL those numbers? i mean literally, do i know my favorite player or what?!

also there are only two catchers on the AL roster. joe mauer and john buck. good company for sure - here's to hoping that john comes in for mauer for some late inning heroics. perhaps a walk-off dinger?! all-star mvp?! ooooooo man - the possibilities! i'll be tuning in for sure.*

enjoy your birthday john. hope your trip to anaheim didn't spoil any vacation plans you had for your birthday weekend. hopefully they added to the festivities.

-ap.

and ps: wikipedia has it listed that buck throws....switch!? i'm researching this

* - i can say things like this now that i have directv. holler.

willie bloomquist/clean-up.

"Kansas City's cleanup hitters "hit" a combined .211/.280/.315 in 2009, with just 13 home runs and 71 RBIs. In other words, just hitting Willie Bloomquist there would have been more effective."

-David Shoenfield, Page 2, ESPN.com

kendall vs buck.

i realized today (and twittered) the following today:

"jason kendall: batting .139 with 0 homeruns for KC in spring training. john buck: .304 and 2 homers for toronto. feel the sting."

and here we see the espn player card widgets for the evil jason kendall and the incredible (or should i say, mr. incredible) john buck.


these are last years' stats, but starting on monday, these stats will morph into the 2010 regular season statistics. as you can see (unless you access this page after april 5th, then it will be the new stats), in 2009, buck led in AVG (.247 vs .241), triples (4 vs 2), homers (8 vs 2), and almost matched kendall in doubles (12 vs 19) in well less than HALF the number of at bats (186 vs 452) and games played (59 vs 134), due to splitting time with miguel olivo.

if you project buck's totals to match kendall's 452 at bats, bucks numbers for 2009 are .247 avg, 112 hits, 29 doubles, 10 triples, 19 homers, 88 rbis. not too shabby. i'm still baffled that he split time with anyone at all. anyway, looking forward...

my predictions for 2010:

buck: .268 avg, .524 slg, 18 hr, 84 rbi
kendall: .249 avg, .450 slg, 9 hr, 66 rbi

i will be keeping a close eye on john's production in toronto this season, and i will likely be referencing this post numerous times this season.

go relish.

-apc.

the hot dog season in a nutshell...

i was there last saturday night to see relish clench the championship. in all honesty: i went to something like a dozen royals games this year, and relish won EVERY SINGLE TIME I WENT. the reverend tim ciccone owes me copious amounts of cash due to repeated $5 bets against the green machine. so silly.

so here they are...final 2009 hot dog race standings:

ketchup: 26
mustard: 27
relish: 28

2009 hot dog race champion: relish.

don't act like i never told ya. go relish. always and forever.

-ap.

happy john buck day.

happy #29 to johnny b.

the royals are expected to get him back in the line up for his big day. probably a good decision seeing that he has a history of late inning heroics on his birthday.

so here's to you, mr. incredible. may your day be filled with much joy and playing time.

-ap.

EDIT: buck didn't play. consequently, the royals lost on his birthday for the first time in 4 years.

a Fun thought.

i really like this dave and buster's commercial. the idea is that everyone has a little part of them that's reserved for having fun, and D&B externalizes this fun as a lil munchkin - a half-sized version of each person dressed in some sort of extreme apparel. the guy's Fun is a dirt biker. the girl's Fun is a lightweight boxing champ.

if i had a Fun, he would be dressed as relish.

but the point isn't Fun's attire. the point is this: willie bloomquist could very well be john buck's Fun.

i'm not the first to mention their resemblance. at a quick glance - and after a long stare sometimes - you can really get the two mixed up. the only real difference: 5 inches and 30 pounds. i just like to picture willie out there bouncin around at john's side, giggling and playing skee-ball and pop-a-shot with Big John. just look at willie's face! scary resemblance.

also consider: mike aviles as vin diesel's Fun.

-ap.

municipal stadium.

with the 40th anniversary of the kansas city royals happening this year i decided to look into their history a little more intentionally. i was sort of confused - i knew that kauffman stadium (then royals stadium) was built in 1973, and with all the renovations happening this year i thought the big 40th anniversary hooplah was because of the stadium. but 2009 - 1973 ≠ 40. i'd forgotten that the royals played at municipal stadium for 3 years before first taking the field on the turf at royals stadium in 1973.

municipal stadium was primarily the home of the negro league's kansas city monarchs from 1923-1955. it also hosted the the kc blues during the same time as the monarchs, the kc athletics from 1955-67 before moving to oakland, and the chiefs for 8 incredible years until 1971. buck o'neil played there from 1938-1955 and jackie robinson called municipal stadium home for two years before he broke the color barrier in the major leagues in 1947.

the ballpark was demolished in 1976 and replaced by a public garden, but today it is being replaced with a housing development. for some reason this really saddens me. there was a terrific history at municipal stadium, and it sure would've been an awesome attraction to add to the 18th and vine district around kansas city missouri. now there's just a lame sign that's meant to remember the great history there. it seems like a disgrace to me. i haven't actually been there, read the sign and explored the surrounding area, but just the fact that i haven't heard much of anything about municipal stadium in my 23 years of calling kansas city home doesn't say much for how well the old stadium is being remembered. (also check out old downtown kc in the distance of the pic to the left.)

maybe i'm just a sucker for baseball stadiums. actually, that's exactly what it is. it's an incredible blend of architecture and recreation that you don't get in any other sports. there is no other sport that features asymmetry and different dimensions between ballparks. one could possibly argue that golf offers this, but in terms of building architecture there is no comparison. basketball, football, soccer, hockey - they all have specific dimensions. baseball stadiums all have their special quirks and unique feels to them. shorter fences, longer fences, higher fences and smaller ones, a small hill in center field, brick walls or ivy in the outfield, tough angles and nooks in the left and right field corners, etc.

i just find it astonishing that they demolished it and have replaced it with a bunch of houses. it seems disrespectful for some reason - especially to a stadium with the extensive negro leagues history as municipal had. obviously we can't get it back, but it's fun to wish it was still around.

in other news: john buck just hit a triple...just wanted to show billy butler how to do it.
EDIT: john buck just hit ANOTHER triple.

-ap.

royals marketing fail.

so the royals are giving away replica jerseys this saturday. the first 20,000 fans will don* the number 40 in order to commemorate the royals' 40th anniversary. this is a pretty cool promotion, except for one major flaw:

kyle farnsworth is #40.

yes, kyle farnsworth. the one who "throws gas" - but never manages to ignite it into a fireball or even smoke - it's just a 100 mph meatball for guys named thome or young to pummel 427 feet. so far the royals have lost 5 times. he has lost 3 of them - and in impressive fashion. just the guy you want to be wearing your anniversary number. this is almost as disappointing as billy butler jersey night was last year. disappointing is an understatement. more like embarrassing.

if he comes in to pitch on saturday people ought to just put their new jerseys on the end of a stick and wave it around in surrender. and then it can continue until they wise up and either send him down to omaha or drop him entierly. what a disappointing beginning to the 2009 promotions.

-ap.

* - i've utilized the word "don" in two consecutive posts now.

photo in need of caption...

here we see john buck shamelessly taunting the chicago white sucks, but what exactly has mr. incredible said to make carlos quentin so distraught?

you decide...gosh this is going to be hilarious. i can't wait.

-ap.

some advice to trey hillman regarding john buck.

the royals are 2-0 with john buck in the line-up. they are 1-3 without him.

john buck leads the team in batting avg, home runs and runs batted in...in 1/3 as many at bats.

john buck is batting .500 and slugging 1.000

billy butler is batting .059 and slugging .118.

my advice to trey hillman is this: bench billy butler and start john buck as DH.

and if the stats don't influence you enough, allow me to submit my own personal opinion:
john buck is the best.
billy butler is the worst.
john buck is harder, better, faster, stronger.
billy butler is a tub of Land O' Lakes.
john buck has a history of saving small children named Timmy from wells.
billy butler has a history of forgetting about the peanut butter sandwich in his back pocket and accidentally sitting on it.
john buck has a history of uprooting sequoias with his bare hands.
billy butler has a history of stealing bo jackson's number and rendering it despicable.

i will add that if you do this you are certain to make at least $100 more for your franchise through ticket, parking and concession sales to me alone. not to mention the countless other john buck enthusiasts i have created since you drafted mr. incedible 5 years ago.

thanks for your time, trey. i trust you will do the right thing.

-ap.

royals questions.

a few questions i have following the royals 4-2 failure against the white sucks last night in chitown:

1. where is ron mahay? i understand that farnsworth "throws gas" and had just struck out carlos quentin on a sick pitch progression - fast, breaking, faster - but jim thome eats righty power pitchers like kyle farnsworth for lunch. i don't care that ron mahay isn't a 'lefty specialist'. the fact of the matter is that thome slugs .600+ against righties and .400+ against lefties. mahay isn't a lefty's worst nightmare, but a power righty is like handing jim thome a swag bag. yes, farnsworth looked good against quentin, but jim thome needs to be taken seriously. and ron mahay was the answer to that serious situation. not kyle farnsworth.

2. do the royals know how to manufacture runs? with 16 base runners (11 hits, 3 walks, and 2 hit batters) in the game, you have to be able to manufacture more than 2 runs. billy butler can't even hit a sac fly with the bases loaded and 0 outs? mike aviles can't even put the ball in play with runners in scoring position? do we know how to utilize a bunt? you can't leave 11 men on base and expect to win in this league.

3. can we not steal a base? this is a subquestion from the one above, but its super frustrating for me. when coco crisp leads off the game with a single he ought to be able to score. every time. he should be able to take second, advance to third on the next ball put in play and then one of the next two guys ought to be able to hit a sac fly to get him home. we picked the guy up so that he could lead off for us and steal bases. he did his job in the top of the 1st, but someone needs to tell him to steal a base. the royals' offense isn't potent enough to pile on the runs every game. we need to be able to take advantage of situations in which we ought to be able to score.

4. does anyone else miss jimmy gobble? he was the lefty specialist that was supposed to be on our team to pitch to thome until the royals dropped him a few weeks ago. gobble has a history of frustrating jim thome and lefties bat .200 against him. sure would've been nice to have him to turn to for an out. we'd be alone in first place if we hadn't dropped him. RIP jimmy.

hindsight is definitely 20-20, but you don't have to be Puxatony Phil to foresee farnsworth failing against thome.

-ap.

sports bit.

i haven't talked about sports in a while. let's do that today.

1. john buck is batting .434 with a .525 OBP in spring training. mike macfarlane eat your heart out.

2. it's looking very likely that the chiefs will do one of two things in this year's nfl draft: with the third overall pick they will either take linebacker aaron curry from wake forest (#1 ranked player overall) or - if the lions really take OT jason smith over QB matthew stafford - they may trade down with a team like the 49ers for a later round pick and pull someone totally different. i have a feeling the chiefs may be looking to simply draft the best player available - curry, michael crabtree, eugene monroe, brian orakpo, etc. we'll see.

3. my bracket is decently intact. 12/16 isn't bad. especially when my elite 8 are all still around. pitt looks like a bum pick to win it though. favorite games so far: siena over ohio state and oklahoma state over tennessee. also i'm proud of my WKU pick. i'm also proud of my VCU and NDSU picks even though they couldn't pull it off.


4. have you guys seen how josh freeman has rocketed up the QB prospects list? he's jumped pat white and graham harrell and is now listed #3 in QBs behind stafford and mark sanchez (who's draft stock is slowly sliding). it's fun to say that i hung out with him in my Wealth, Power and Privilege class just three months ago.

just a couple quick thoughts. i'll quit blogging now. i have a life you know.

-ap.

spring training is here!

ouch. rough start fellas. good thing it's only spring training.

SCORE UPDATE:

courtesy of olivo and jacobs homers.

39 days, 20 hours and 40 minutes til opening day.
cannot wait.

-ap.

kc sports: what a thrilling topic.

one of the great things about rooting for sucky teams is that you get used to disappointment and your heart isn't broken as often as it might be if you had some sort of expectation. so when the chiefs pull what they did on sunday it's pretty easy to shrug your shoulders and think "hey. draft pick sizzler."

one of the crappy things about rooting for sucky teams is that sometimes they don't have playoff success for decades, and while some teams are acquiring c.c. sabathia and a.j. burnett simultaneously, i get to celebrate the signing of kyle farnsworth to a two-year deal.

-ap.

kansas city sports sanity and kurt vonnegut.

i'm starting to realize how cubs fans actually do it - how it is that they can go for 100 years and counting without winning a world series and still be as passionate as ever about their team.

it hasn't even been two years since the chiefs limped into the playoffs with a measly 9-7 due to a denver crumble and a last minute 49er field goal on new years eve. the royals haven't played a post-season game in my lifetime. i've been fortunate to have been a cardinals fan for most of my life, but now that i've seen them win it all i really feel as if my true loyalty is with the royals. i'm a kc fan. thats just the way it is.

with immense failure comes equally immense disappointment. after a while that disappointment turns to humor. cynicism? perhaps, but at some point the missed tackles, strikeouts, pitifully immobile quarterbacks and hopeless franchises start to make you smile. expectations flip upside down and you find yourself rooting for alex gordon to strikeout so that it will enhance your argument that teahen should be moved back to third and alex should go rip it up in AA again.

i'm realizing that when you truly love a team and they have the collective ability of eric warfield there comes a point where their disappointment is no longer abrasive to your emotions, but it is almost somewhat warming and fun - like an 4 year-old who gets caught coloring murals on the walls - you'd rather the kid didn't, but let's be honest, it's pretty funny.

how do the columnists do it? how about the cubs columnist who's worked for the chicago tribune for 40 years following 40 years of inept chicago baseball? how do they want to write another depressing article about the team's past, present and probable future? doesn't jason whitlock ever get tired of writing to fire carl peterson? doesn't joe posnanski ever tire of covering the royals' latest "hope" coming up in omaha? imagine that stretched out over 40 years! the only possible articles the worth writing would be at the sake of humor.

this is when kurt vonnegut comes in:
"laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. i myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."

"humor is an almost physiological response to fear."

does the man hit the nail on the head or what? where else is there to go but to the funny papers with this? i tell you what, if someone had started a comic strip called "wrigley field" back in the early 1900's they would've just made a killing over the last century through all sorts of dark humor. maybe someone should work toward a strip called "arrowhead" or "collapsing with carl" or "youth movement".

i will hope and pray that the chiefs and royals improve, but in the meantime i'm just going to chuckle and root for john buck. he's my coping mechanism. God forbid someone else takes him away from us.

-ap.

question of the day:

which of these will happen first...

1. i get married.
2. the Royals finish 3rd in the AL Central.

-ap.

pga championship.

it's friday - that means i have the day off. typically i would catch up on sleep until 930 or 10 and then wake up and slowly get on with my day. today, however, i woke up at 7 and made a trip to the doc to get a tetanus shot. i'm off of my parents' insurance forever soon, so i'm taking advantage of it and getting as many medical trips out of the way as i can before i go back to school.

but since i woke up early for my appointment, i've got free time that i'm not really used to. fortunately for me, golf is on tv.

i'm not sure what it is about golf that makes it so mesmerizing. maybe it's the melodious voice of jim nantz matched with the occasional thrilling moment. perhaps it's sergio garcia and aaron baddeley's get-up. or the occasional lexus virtual caddy fly-by - beautiful holes. or maybe it's the commentators vocab usage - ubiquitous. i'll be impressed once they use nebulous.

the only thing that would make this even more exciting is if i had some money on it. i'm rooting for sergio though, and his sweet light blue polo vest and white slacks. although baddeley's plaid pants are so legit.

but i've been sitting here for quite some time now thinking about doing other things, but never getting much passed that thought. just about the time i plan to hop up and make a sandwich somebody hits a one-hopper off the pin or drops a 45 foot putt. i also really want to get up and go play 18 holes myself, but i don't think i'd be physically capable after my shot. it's rendered my left arm borderline useless. it's only a quarter-sized bruise on my tricep, but i can feel it all through my arm.

i'll probably end up playing vitual golf later tonight. golden tee. part of me wishes i had some sort of print out listing the cash i've spent on golden tee this summer, but another part of me is perfectly fine being kept in the dark. you get to create your own character, save your information and stats by using your credit card as your i.d., and you get to compete for cash prizes against everyone else nationally.

it's either golden tee or the royals game. the royals open up a three game series against the freaking twins. i'm so tired of watching the twins beat the royals, so i'm not letting it happen tonight. i'll either be sitting behind the plate or at buffalo wild wings jeering as much as possible against those shades from minneapolis. oh, and go relish:



-ap.

the best royals game ever.

let's review the two things i love most about the royals:

1. john buck.
2. relish.

now that we're all on the same page, i'll begin my tale which i have appropriately titled "the best royals game ever."

it was "go the the royals game if you're a hillcrest highschooler" night at "the K". after collecting money from every student and paying for parking we went to purchase fifty-eight $7 tickets. amazing moment number 1: we went to the ticket window and our total was $406. we counted the cash we'd collected...$408. so we gave Kathy a $2 tip for smiling and handing us the large wad of tickets. they look more like chuck e. cheese tickets in bulk like that.

we got to our seats (secion 323 rows K-N) and were delighted to see that the royals were already up 2-0 in the second inning. i hadn't been sitting in my seat for more than 10 minutes and i suddenly received a multitude of text messages. you see, i had chosen to wear my relish hat to the game. it is essentially a giant hot dog with green condimentation* along the top. amazing moment number 2: apparently i had been on FSN KC and former royals' pitcher Paul Splittorff said something to the effect of, "you can always tell when it's college night at the K cause people show up with hotdogs on their head."

the game progressed quickly to the bottom of the 4th inning when amazing moment number three happened: mr. incredible himself dropped a homer over jermaine dye's head in right center to make the game 6-2. john buck goes yard for the second time in two starts. and the crowd goes wild.

this game was already thrilling. at this point i was fully confident that nothing could go wrong. anything and everything was going to go my way tonight. so when the Heinz Hot Dog Derby began - i was extremely confident that Relish would pull it out for me. amazing moment number 4: in come-from-behind fashion, Relish takes win number 17 on the year, and is currently dominating the standings where ketchup and mustard have 13 and 12 wins respectively. they quickly went straight to me celebrating in section 323 after the race. i pointed at the condimentation on my hat to notify the masses of my loyalty. and the $5 i had riding on relish quickly turned into $15. pleasure doing business with you gents.

the game slowly went south, however, my morale was as high as ever. the chicago white sox clawed back into it, and actually took the lead on a balk. as we entered the 9th inning, we were down 1 run, but all eyes went to the Mass-o-tron** to watch the royals' highlights from the night. amazing moment number 5: clip 3. immediately proceeding the plethora of royals hits and put outs to come...there i was. I WAS IN THE HIGHLIGHT REEL. i was laughing and talking with the individuals around me in my Relish hat and white shades. i couldn't believe it. i was one of the game's highlights. what an honor.

anyway. that's a quick synopsis of the most fun i've ever had at the K. hopefully i can add pictures to this post soon. i'm counting on others for that though.
oh. but the royals ended up losing. details.

-ap.

* - condimentation: the act or process of adding an item to an entree in order to enhance it's original flavor. ex: ketchup, mustard, Relish.
** - i named the new video board tonight. the old one was the Jumbo-tron. this one is clearly more majestic and larger than that one. i like Mass-o-tron.

wrigley.

highlight of my trip to chicago: wrigley field.

baseball in chicago is like an illness that you’re just bound to catch. i got to experience it in full force on thursday night: cubs vs rockies. it was a back-and-forth game, but ultimately errors ruined it for colorado as the cubs put up a few unearned runs to seal the victory, thus convoluting my baseball loyalty even more than had already been done.

you must know that i was raised a st. louis cardinals fan. my father’s father’s father was a fan and the fandom was passed on to me. due to the fact that I was a fetus when the royals beat the cardinals in the 1985 series, I have no understanding of the I-70 rivalry. cardinals fans dispute a bad call at first base and royals fans have nothing else to brag about and no one else to hate but the cards. i’m stuck naively in the midst of a tentative fued already.

so i’m an I-70 fan. when the kc/stl interleague series happens i’m not sure who i’m for. my heart pulls me toward kc, but my roots run deep with the cardinals.

cardinals fans,have bigger fish to fry than the guppies in kcmo. the cubs/cardinals rivalry is the only one in the majors that can even hold a candle to the yankees/red sox. and it isn’t one-sided like the cards dispute with the royals – this rivalry is decades old. these are two baseball cities. their fans are die hard and don’t go to the games for hot dog races or chunky DH replica jersey giveaways. they go for the baseball. there is no need for any special promotions or gimmicks to draw a crowd; both cities sell out their games regularly with nothing but the game. they love baseball, and i love that. kansas city doesn’t love baseball; they don’t understand and I don’t resonate with the kc baseball mindset. there is passion and energy and camaraderie in chi-town that kauffman stadium just doesn’t possess. it’s also very contagious.

so here i am rooting for the home team at wrigley field and just lapping up the excitement in the place. Everyone comes together all up and down Clark to celebrate cubs baseball. all of wrigleyville is blue and white flying huge “W” flags to celebrate a cubs win over a less than terrific rockies squad. i can’t imagine what things would be like against the cards. I’d be thoroughly shaken. the cubs have clever memorabilia, tradition, and Old Style draft. it is classic baseball at its finest. everyone is into the game – people STAND AND CHEER without the assistance of a flashy “NOISE” or bogus “FAN-O-METER” graphic. kansas city folk don’t understand baseball. they just don’t get it. it goes beyond the game. It’s the atmosphere.

am i a cubs fan after thursday’s game? not necessarily. but i respect their fans and wish i could be apart of their environment. kauffman stadium is weaksauce. royals games typically contain 5 highlights for me: the condiment race (1) and each time john buck comes to the plate (2 through 5). but those aren’t things i’m on board with 40.000 people with – heck the condiment race even creates disagreement amongst like-minded fans – and although jb-fever is sweeping the nation and explodes for 4 at bats each game, it doesn’t make the other 23 outs in the game any more exciting*.

my loyalties are so messed up nowadays, but I’m fine with that. Hate if you want, i’m just a fan of baseball and the atmosphere it creates. and if you share my excitement for the game then i’m a fan of yours too. so here’s to you north side chicago – you do it right and I hope I can be a bigger part of that atmosphere in the years to come.

-ap.

* - this is an incredibly subtle jab at the royals and jb. harsh really.

cooper buck.

john buck did not travel with the team to miami to play the marlins this weekend because his wife gave birth to twins.

they named one of them COOPER.

hi-ohhhhh.

-ap.