AVATAR: 3D IMAX.

so i finally saw avatar. imax. in all three dimens.....

...oh what's that? excuse me? ohhhh...yes. i'm perfectly aware that it's been out for eight thousand days and that i'm a massive loser for not seeing it until now.* but lets go ahead and save all that unproductive banter for another time and cut to the chase:

avatar just changed my life.

okay not MY life specifically - although mine will be greatly affected - it just basically changed everybody's perspective on how movies are viewed. a quick list of examples:

1. when i watch LOST tomorrow night, i will be thinking, "gee, sure would be cool if i could see the smoke monster roller coaster itself through the jungle in more than boring ole 2D. and the next time they show a clip on an airplane, i'll be thinking, "hey, is it just me, or is the back of the plane a lot smaller than the front of the plane?" it'll seem like that creepy hallway in the gene wilder version of willy wonka right before they go into the totally edible "world of pure imagination."...i'd continue. but hello, spoiler alert.

okay so only one example. but it's a good one.

the animation is the most absurd thing i've ever seen. just ridiculous. and by ridiculous i don't mean like this ridiculous...i mean like vince carter ridiculous. at one point there's a animated character, fighting a human who is in a robotic body suit. and i thought nothing of it because they all looked like they went together. i was blown away over and over again by how insane the cinematography was.

sure, the storyline was a futuristic retelling of pocahontas: a group of people invade another world in search of something valuable and have to wipe out the hippie indigenous people in order to get it. but then one of them gets too close to the indigenous people and joins their side and falls in love. war ensues. etc.

only difference is that, historically, the whites pretty much wiped out the native americans. avatar has a much happier ending...of course, disney managed to end pocahontas on a positive note too. must've forgotten about the whole small pox thing. convenient.

michelle rodriguez is in it. so that's sorta a bummer. you'll never guess what role she plays. oh nevermind, you got it. the super butch female soldier role. shocker.

also chad, who falls down in "that thing you do!" is in it. almost evens out the Tragedy of Ana Lucia...at least it wasn't shannon. ugh.

also, sigourney weaver is in another movie about aliens.

anyway. it's late and i can't be typing about this all night like i did with LG. but here is my review in bullet point fashion:

- animation/cinematography: 12 out of 10
- acting: 5 out of 10
- storyline: 7 out of 10 - second coming of Poco? sure. but it's still a powerful story. political even.

- but the real selling point: this movie is ground-breaking. NEVER has a movie been this...way. it's the first of it's kind and it is unbelievable. EVERYONE has to see this movie, and i am embarrassed that it took me this long to see it. wow.

- also the 3D is simply mesmerizing. i mean, way more mesmerizing than even antiques roadshow.

- conclusion: james cameron is a wizard...maybe they'll let him do the final harry potter movie...

-apc.

* -of course, i'm also the guy who just saw jurassic park for the first time last year. and still hasn't seen the godfather OR scarface. also this was my first ever IMAX movie. so it probably shouldn't be a shock that it took so long to see this one too. major flop. sigh. a tiger don't change his stripes, i suppose.

i'm the logical one.

you can prepare yourself for a flood of blogging from apc - because i finally have the internet in my apartment. i didn't do anything at all to get it here. it was all nick. the proof that he did it all: the name of the wireless airport is literally called "It's this one, adam."

but i'm not a total bum roommate. i've purchased all kinds of assorted goodies for my new abode. bathroom goodies, kitchen goodies, foosball goodies...all logical purchases when moving into a new home. i don't like to spend a lot of money when i don't have to. it's usually pretty easy for me to think, "do i need this?" my rule of thumb: if i have to ask, i probably don't.

however. last wednesday, something miraculous happened. i was at target with a $50 gift card. i came with a few things in mind: a new dresser, a skillet, a new coffee table, some poster frames, etc. there were so many items to choose from! it's so hard to walk through target with a limited amount of money and think, "i could literally use all of this stuff in my new apartment." except a lint roller. i already have one of those.

so i paced around the store for about 15-20 minutes. i got frustrated. i needed so many things and i couldn't decide what i wanted to spend my fifty bones on. so i settled upon what any normal individual in such a situation would purchase...

...the complete star wars dvd collection.

that's right. i passed up all the other practical items on my list and went with something that i didn't truly need. but let's be totally honest with ourselves here - it's something that every home should have. i saw it from afar, walked straight to it, nodded emphatically, and headed for register 12.

and 4 days later, i have zero regrets.

-ap.

also, please watch the trailer for jedi gym.

maurice sendak.

this will be epic.

this will also likely be the greatest movie to ever happen to me since the dark knight...except between now and then the dark knight will first be ousted by the half-blood prince. so ultimately this will be the best movie to ever happen to me since july 17, 2009.

there is massive anticipation surrounding this movie for me. can you say midnight showing? ahh i cannot wait.

-ap.

free movie month in quick review.

i'm watching the final movie of FMM. yes, i know that FMM ended when february did, but it's a week rental. also since i have no interest in actually giving blockbuster any business following this month, being a little later isn't really an issue.

so here i am, on the 9th of march, watching the last of my free movies. it has been quite a month. i did very little with the suggestions you made, and for that i am sorry. in fact, as i review the list of movies that i watched during this free spree i have to say that i'm not very impressed with my selections. mostly comedies, but there were still quite a few gems.

i'm not going to give a lengthy detailed review of each of them, cause that would be beyond boring both for you to read and for me to write. so i'll simply list the movies, along with a rating* and maybe a sentence or two max.

tropic thunder - OOO - robert downing jr. is hilarious and incredible but jack black's character was stupid and so was tom cruise's.

star wars: clone wars - OOO - once i got past the fact that this wasn't really star wars it was rather enjoyable for me. i just had to make sure i didn't associate it with the others too much.

traitor - OOOOO - oh man. don cheadle is freaking amazing.

babylon a.d. - _ - worst movie i've seen in 22 years, 11 months and 23 days.

the sting - OOOO - oh, but give me an old pro like a robert redford. oh, i'd jump into bed with him in a second.

the jerk - OOOOO - steve martin at his best. absolutely hilarious from start to finish. i finished it and wanted to watch it again, but i was trying to crunch in as many movies as possible. should've rented it instead of babylon ad...what a waste of zero dollars.

rushmore: - OO - i fell asleep and had to try again the next day. wes anderson

best in show - OOOO - this movie has inspired me to try to make up my own mockumentary. who knows what about, but i was near tears in parts of this movie. take away parker posey and this movie gets 5 O's.

king of kong - OOOOO - okay, this wasn't the first time i'd seen this movie...more like the tenth. but this is the best documentary of all time. here's my review from feb 08: never surrender.

superbad - O - getting girls drunk so you can have sex with them is not cool, and it is all this movie is about. the only redeeming part of this movie was any moment when michael cera is running.

semi pro - OOO - had about 4 scenes that absolutely made the movie. of the super-dumb anchorman wannabe movies...this one is the best.

dr. strangelove - OO - 1964 comedy. not sure i was on the same page with the humor throught the movie, but james earl jones is in it and that makes it at least one more O.

stomp the yard - OOO - this movie was talked up waaaay too much. it does not measure up to "step up" and/or "step up 2 the streets" but it's still great.

man on wire - OOOO - how in the world were they able to get all those amazing photos and all that original footage? the redramatizations were pretty lame though - as all redramatizations are.

the shining - OO - well shot. and jack nicholson was good. but i was extremely bored, weirded out and confused.

so that's the list. 15 movies. 14 new. 1 repeat. zero dollars. sounds like a deal to me. again, sorry if i didn't take any of your suggestions. it's nothing personal, i just ended up finding my own picks before i had to resort to help. good thing those other choices will forever be listed on the world wide web in case i need a movie idea.

-ap.

* - i have chosen to use O's as my unit of rating because it's the tic-tac-toe symbol that is not utilized by the porn industry. i wouldn't want to give tropic thunder a "XXX" but a "OOO" is just fine. also representing the number of dollars i spent for each movie.

so the oscars happened.

i always feel the need to write something new and profound on this mother.

instead of writing "the oscars were neat/slumdog won a bunch/queen latifah was lip syncing over a previously recorded track/halle berry and alicia keys were all sorts of hubba hubba" i end up trying so hard to come up with something more interesting than that. but that should be enough. this thing is about my thoughts...not the thoughts i wish i could come up with upon extended thought and pondering.

so my oscar/somewhat related to the oscars thoughts are as follows:

1. "jai ho" is maybe the only song that has the power to thwart "put a ring on it" out of my head. that song pumps me up like ac/dc never could. then again, hoku pumps me up like ac/dc never could. so maybe i should write something like "that song is boss" instead. the performance of it (with john legend joining in) during the oscars last night was awesome. a highlight for sure.

2. steve martin nearly made me pee my pants for the first time in at least a week. i rented "the jerk" last weekendish and can finally appreciate his comedy to the fullest. his screenplay presentations were a riot. a highlight for sure.

3. the little kiddos in slumdog are both awesome and adorable. the two little boys in their slick tuxes?! the little girl in her beautiful dress and tiara?! freaking awesome. i was fist pumping like steve weibe throughout the best picture acceptance speech. also, did you hear how awesome their payment for this movie is?! instead of writing the little kids a check, they get the money in small installments until they graduate school and then they get their massive payload. since they really are children out of the slums of mumbai, if the companies wrote them a fat check then they'd probably be kidnapped and held for ransom overnight. so this method ensures their safety and still rewards them with an incredible life in the future. slumdog is changing real lives. a highlight for sure.

4. i need to see man on wire so badly. karlie and i have been debating it for a while, and absolutely bonkers acceptance of the dude who stood on the wire between the twin towers was more than enough to prod me to rent it immediately.

5. the oscars were surprisingly cross-cultural and cross-generational - i guess they're always cross-generational because actors keep getting older and movies continue to be extremely popular - but the cross-cultural aspect was really neat. most of you would say "well, of course it was ap! slumdog was about india and it won best picture! the only real/non-dubbed/non-humorous musical rendition throughout the oscars was in hindi and there were tribal drums and indian dancers everywhere." i would say yes...but robert downey jr. played an australian man playing a black man in tropic thunder. can you get any more cross-cultural? i submit that you cannot. a highlight for sure.

6. christopher walken is such a weirdo. asbolutely love it. just seeing him = a highlight for sure.

7. WILL SMITH SAID BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE AT THE OSCARS. watch it here. original here. there is absolutely nothing funnier in the world. name something in the world. no, seriously, try it. it wont be funnier.

8. speaking of boom goes the dyno...alicia keys and halle berry. goodness gracious ladies. God must've spent a little more time on you two. and here's probably what happened: God was so busy putting a little more time and effort into you guys that he totally forgot about sophia loren over the last 10 years and let her wither quickly into a leathery monster. yeah. thats probably it. also kate winslet and penelope cruz. highlights for sure.

thats a quick list of my thoughts - without trying to find anything profoud or meaningful or touching. cause lets be honest, usually i'm none of those things.

now i'm going to go play geosense.

beat it. i dare you.

-ap.

just so no one forgets.

07/17/09. five months and four days.

i have chills.

-ap.

it's free movie month and ap needs your help!

last wednesday the k-state collegian came with a coupon insert. it had a page of taco bell discounts on one side and blockbuster on the other - initially this was annoying to me because if i used any of the taco bell coupons then i couldn't use the blockbuster ones and vice versa - but upon further review it wasn't a serious issue because the taco bell deals weren't terrific*.

but i flipped the coupons over to the blockbuster side and saw maybe the greatest coupon to ever exist: "FREE MOVIE RENTAL - no purchase necessary - one coupon per customer per day - valid through 2/28/09". booyah. my roommates and i (one of which works for the collegian) snatched up as many coupon sheets as we could...i haven't counted, but i'd guess we have about 60 of them stacked on our coffee table.

therefore, blockbuster has declared february "Free Movie Month" on elaine drive.

i spent the first couple days of february in tampa, so i got a slow start**, but since then i have watched 4 movies in 4 days and paid zero dollars and zero cents. talk about the greatest deal ever. i'm hoping to make it well into double digits with this deal - maybe 20 movies? 21? 22? i've pretty much picked through the new releases (although i still feel a slight tug to watch Semi-Pro - Will Ferrell and ANDRE 3000?!?!), but i need some guidance on some movies that people feel i ought to watch during the next 22 days. i grew up without much movie knowledge - i saw Jurrasic Park for the first time just last year - but i feel that this is my chance to make a slight comeback so i can hold my own in SceneIt and become a part of many more cinematic conversations.

so any suggestions on what i should see next? i get this sense that those who frequent my blog have wonderful taste in movies. so please help a brother out.

heck. if you're lucky you might get an end-of-the-month list complete with some sort of ranking system - actually you're likely to get that anyway. my blogging is not contingent on my frequenters actions.

-ap.

* - the best one they had to offer was 6 crunchy tacos for 3.99 - but i already can get 2 burritos and 2 crunchy tacos for 1.99 with my local radio station discount card (QCard), so i could get 4 burritos and 4 crunchy tacos - 8 items - for the same price as 6 crunchy tacos. i choose the QCard. because 8 > 6. it's science.

** - this "set back" is not a bad thing. i'm perfectly fine with missing a couple days of movies because i'm busy going to the superbowl with the girl i love. there are worse things that could've delayed me. love > the superbowl > free movie month...this is also science.

eggshell off-white like a dupont finish.

september should be one of the more exciting months of the year. football starts. pennant races are building in suspense. and kansas is provided with simply perfect puffer vest weather.

however, this september - though the weather is indeed perfect - provides me no sporting excitement whatsoever. my teams are all expected to flounder or have already gone under, and i have yet again failed to join a fantasy football league. i don't understand how i've always managed to surround myself with individuals who don't give half a crap about sports once september arrives. but alas, another year.

the good news is that football is still amazing even though the chiefs are not. so sundays and mondays will continue to be ruled by quite a bit of read-while-watching time. which is probably good - reading is something i've really come to enjoy recently. i'm in the middle of obama's book right now; this probably wasn't the best decision. only one of my eight books i ordered online has come in yet, so i've got some catching up to do.

other things to be excited about in september: ben folds, nelly and robin thicke all have cd releases. burn after reading - the latest coen brothers film - comes out in theaters on the 12th too. i'm not sure if the theater in manhattan does midnight showings (probably the only downfall of this town), but nick and i are seeing that movie.

-asap.

the morning after the dark knight.

i've been anticipating this movie for quite some time. i saved the date like it was a dear friend's wedding day. any time i hype myself up to this degree i'm typically very let down. dark knight did not disappoint whatsoever.

heath ledger's performance was captivating. the joker might be the most complex villain ever created: eccentric, giddy, furious, and calculating. silly, yet completely sinister. he's one of those villains that doesn't need a motive to be evil; he just flat out enjoys it. he just loves to inflict pain - physical, but mostly emotional - just out of curiosity and sheer thrill. and any individual can act out such a complex eccentric character deserves an oscar. therefore, employing all cinematic authority i hold, i hereby nominate heath ledger for best actor as well as lindy hemming for best costume design.

batman is probably my favorite superhero. probably because he's not super; he's just a hero. just billionaire bruce wayne spending his cash on electronics and gadgets to save Gotham from insane wackos. this movie hinges greatly on the humanity of batman and his place in society. Gotham is full of imposters and wannabe heroes who think they can be vigilantes like batman. the joker begins killing off those in the public eye until batman unmasks himself and suddenly bruce wayne feels responsible for the escalated crime. should he come out? find a replacement? disappear?

bruce wayne is a hero that is forced to persevere through personal struggle to a much greater degree than clark kent (superman) or peter parker (spiderman). they can do abnormal things that others can't do. batman isn't a superior being to any of the criminals he puts behind bars. he's a man too. at one point alfred tells bruce that he needs to know his limits. limits? superheroes don't have limits, but public servants like batman do. he's forced to endure scrutiny and disgust. he's just a man who lives to save and serve others and the plot of the dark knight focuses on this. it goes deeper into the soul of batman.

the joker doesn't seek to kill the batman. he seeks to elevate bruce wayne's inner conflict. "The Dark Knight creates a place where good and evil — expected to do battle — decide instead to get it on and dance." (Rolling Stone). pretty much hit the nail on the head i think. it's a movie where you don't want evil to lose almost - at least that was the case for me. the more i saw of the joker, the more i wanted him to continue to terrorize Gotham. for 2.5 hours the joker toys with the world, and i wanted more. dare i say i want the joker to win? nah, but he's the greatest villain i've ever witnessed on the big screen.

know what else is terrific about this movie? there isn't a pathetic romance that ruins the film. there is some tension built around rachel dawes and her struggle to pick between bruce wayne and district attorney harvey dent, but the film doesn't focus on the love story, and it doesn't end happily ever after like every other Hollywood flick. the movie centers on what it should: the joker's demented antics.

the plot is twisted and constantly moves in ways you dont expect it to. it isn't just a bunch of mindless explosions and street fights either. the joker is crafty and claims that "Gotham deserves a better criminal." there's the good guys, and there's the bad guys...neither of which are on the joker's side. he is the worst. Gotham's greatest criminals are terrified of the cackling freak and no one seems to be able to figure out how to be a step ahead of him. he is absolutely merciless and has no friends or accomplices. and he's creeeeepy. gosh i want to see it again.

hands down the movie of the summer and easily the greatest superhero movie i've ever seen. please go see it. like now. and don't give me any "i'll wait til monday so i can see it at amc for $5." it's worth every penny no matter what you pay for it.

and call me if you need someone to go with. like i said, i want more.

-ap.

indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull.

...this movie was awful.

i wasn't expecting much, but it came no where near even my lowest of expectations. it started out alright with the potential for a decent indiana 4, but goodness gracious did they fall short.

before i get too far into my negativity i need to address something: harrison ford still rules and he did a great job with the script/plot/screenplay that was presented to him.

unfortunately, all three of those things sucked.

the plot was the worst. it moved about 9 million miles per hour from point to point. in past indy films they'd spend 30 minutes acquiring a certain artifact, but in this one they manage to make it to about 6 different locations within about 10 minutes of footage. it was really tough to keep up with what was even going on or why people were even fighting or why they were even interested in the plot at all. and when you can't figure out why the characters would be interested in the plot then its super difficult to want to stay involved in the movie yourself.

i'm not necessarily sure what george lucas was thinking when he agreed to do a 4th movie. cause not only was this one terrible, but it has slightly tainted the other three for me. i love the original indiana jones series, and i've already decided that i refuse to affiliate this one with the other three. it was unrealistically awful and at times i forgot i was even watching indiana jones. it was just weird.

shai labeouf was an interesting addition. not sure if i liked him or disliked him. i think his character was a good idea, but he's the same kid that played in Even Stevens and Transformers in my mind. i can never get past that. and Holes too. loved Holes.

another thing that annoyed me: it was very obvious that this movie had a HUGE budget, and i feel like they added in special effects just cause tehy could afford to. which is dumb because indiana jones does not thrive on special effects, it thrives on intense heroics and great one-liners. both of those can be accomplished with or without crazy usage of special effects and/or computers. it just seemed a bit out of place when thinking about the other movies.

don't waste your money. i went during the $5 cheapo time and it still wasn't worth it. the $6.50 popcorn was a much better deal than wasting 2 hours of my life watching that business. do yourself a favor and don't even rent it if you have ANY respect for the first three. it'll just bum you out and make you question george lucas. which isn't healthy in my mind.

its just sad that they waited 20 years to make it and it came out so disappointing. i just wish it hadn't been aliens. just anything but that. i give it a 1.5 out of 5. sigh.

at least they didnt spell crystal with a k.

-ap.

never surrender.

everyone needs to go out and rent the documentary King of Kong: A Pocketful of Quarters.

trailer here.

this is the greatest documentary i've ever seen. hands down.

its about the original "Donkey Kong" game and the nerds who compete for the highest score ever. this dude Steve decides that he's going to beat this dude named Bill's 20 year old score: 847,600 or something. oh MAN its good. i'm a Steve Weibe** fan now. plus there are so many "gosh you lead a lame life" moments. super hilarious.

reasons why:

1. it makes fun of video gamers a lot.
2. the greatest villian EVER. i hate him. and he's real.
3. some of the most incredible quotes ever.
4. part of the movie takes place at lake winnipesaukee, new hampshire. (what about bob?)

there are a lot of other reasons. but you should just go see it.

i'm not joking guys. you just should.

-ap.

** - the ENTIRE movie i couldn't figure out how i'd heard this name before and i just got it. I'm in my room watching tv and Steve Levy just wrapped up SportsCenter. phew.

ratatouille in review.

i was disappointed.

and i'm not sure if it was because i just expected something different, or if it truly was subpar. probably, as is the case with most situations like this, it was a little bit of both. Ratatouille was pretty much made out to be the most brilliant film of the year. i mean, it got ridiculous online ratings (97% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes and 96/100 on Metacritic - 6th highest rated Metacritic movie ever). so i think it HAD to be better than i think it was.

i'd gotten myself excited about it too, so i think there was a possibility of disappointment there. when i see new animated movies, i typically subconsciously begin to compare them to Toy Story - which is completely unfair because Toy Story is one of my favorite animated movies ever to exist...the only recent movies to even compare are Toy Story 2 and Meet the Robinsons. but anyway. i'm always looking for excellence, and when an animated movie doesnt come through like i want it to then i get a little bummed out.

but anyway. enough about expectations and deliverance - my reasons for being somewhat disappointed:

first of all, it lacked a substantial amount of humor. well, thats not entirely true, there was humor, but it typically came in the form of slapstick and situational humor. I typically go more for the one liners, so possibly just not my cup of tea, but the humor that was involved seemed to be even less funny still. from what i've found, in most animated movies there is a second or third tier character who tends to provide the bulk of the humor in the movie. this is why Toy Story is so perfect to me - there are about 35 lower level characters providing tons of one-liners. But i felt that this movie lacked those characters and the humor they provide. overall, it probably wasn't even supposed to be the slightest bit funny...i just wanted it to be.

the movie also hit me as 100% dramatic. a little drama is ok, but when a love story springs out of no where? i just didnt understand the importance of it. the movie revolves around this rat (who's name i'm not sure if i ever even caught in the movie) who wants to be a chef, and this kid, Linguini, who wants to be a chef but pretty much is horrible. so the two find each other and work together. Rat's aren't acceptable - humans are; Linguini can't cook - Emril the Rodent can. it works. it's a simple concept that can work. however, the rat starts talking with the spirit of a famously dead chef, the kid randomly decides to fall for the feminist chick chef in the kitchen, the rat's family doesn't believe he should mess with humans, the kid turns out to be the chef spirit's son and it complicates things - you know, typical film complications - but everything felt extremely over"acted" and kinda rubbed me the wrong way. cheesy and dramatic. thats about it.

one bright side to it: so much talk of great food made me super hungry. even for an animated movie, the food looked pretty tasty. Linguini/the rat makes this soup - and it is just a boring orangy-red color...perhaps salmon? nah, that's too pink. but anyway. it just sounded so perfect and it started to make me wish i wasn't a poor college kid. i want some fine dining for a change.

i should probably re-watch it with different expectations - i've noticed that enjoying a movie depends chiefly on your attitude going into it; if it isn't what you expected then you can't fully enjoy it. my thoughts at least.

right now...i'd give ratatouille 2 stars with the option for a third if it ever manages to hit me while i'm in the right mood...like maybe i can put it on in the kitchen and watch it while i make sweet potatoes (which i mastered over thanksgiving - add it to the list: guacamole, cereal, peppermint bark, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, and sweet potatoes).

-ap.

TRANSFORMERS

i've just realized that i really have a knack for starting these things off with confessions...and this post is no different.

confession: i have never seen an episode of Transformers in my life. the only connection i have to them is Track 9 on St. Elsewhere.

i did see the movie tonight, however, and i'm considering going online and finding a massive poster of Optimus Prime to put on my wall right now because that was the most incredible thing i've seen in recent history. This movie has action like you wouldn't believe. First off, this thing is like 2.5 hours long and i was never once bored. i mean not one moment. it was like someone was tugging at my heart every single moment and it was just itching to flee out of my body. i was twitching through parts of this thing cause i couldn't stand it.

okay. i need to tell something about the actual movie if i'm going to consider this a review - the excitement is taking over and manifesting itself in my text. i need to start slow probs...ready break.

The flick starts with this kid Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and he's giving this bozo family tree report about his great great great grandfather or something...basically his great^3 gpa discovers the quintessential evil robot, Megatron. he's a big dude who, apparently, crash landed and buried himself in a glacier...so Big Nasty's been buried up in the arctic circle for a century or something and this dude accidentally fell upon him. BN's after this cube dealio that makes all electronics turn into evil robot things...basically he wants to turn the Earth into a killing robot and take over the universe.

but not if the Autobots can help it.

there are like 6 or 7 of these dudes, one of which is the old yellow Camero that Sam's pop buys him for his first car...he immediately decides to woo a lady friend with it, and since the car is an Autobot and is basically the coolest piece of machinery ever...wooing this chica is not terribly difficult. (at this point in the movie i was really wishing i had a sweet ride like that so IIIIIII could hang out with the girl Shia LaBeouf picks up...MEGAN FOX* is her name and she is a hottie to the Nth power.) i forget what her name is in the movie...i was too busy mopping up the saliva on my shirt when she first introduced her character in the movie i think.

* - i made sure i checked into her age before i started talking about how hot she was...even though i would never be one to be seriously in love with famous individuals who may or may not be within the comfortable "i'm in love with you" age range.....i.e. hermoine granger....but i didnt fall in love with her until Chamber of Secrets.......awkwarrrrrddddd.

anyway.

The movie develops and gets more and more intense as it progresses. Sam's ridonk vehicle transforms into a sweet robot and summons the rest of the Autobot Good Guy Clan (AGGC...but i just made that acronym up). Led by Optimus Prime...these guys are tight. OP (not overland park) comes from a blue and red semi and is....well, 'awesome' comes to mind.

There is fighting and lots of explosions and excessive metal clanking and clinking....and clinking and clanking. at times you can't really even tell whats going on because there are so many pieces of revolving metal and shrapnel clunking everywhere...but there is a point when the excessive motor movements move into slow-mo. i think thats when i sunk my teeth into my knees to control myself. every time these ridic machines would break into slo-mo was like watching Reggie Bush and Vince Young collide with an F-16. only everything is metal and it is in NYC instead of the Rose Bowl and i am in a movie theater in kansas instead of a sports bar in tennessee.

I went into this movie expecting nothing at all. I wanted a little bit of entertainment and thats about it. little did i know that this movie was going to destroy the universe i currently live in. I want to see it again and again. and then probably again.

plus Linkin Park did the end creds song. just when it couldn't get better...holler.

as i got into my now seemingly boring vehicle after the movie i decided this thing was like a Spiderman/Blade/Men in Black/Matrix combo feature...only Optimus Prime is way cooler than Peter Parker, Blade, Will Smith or Neo.
eh. maybe not Will Smith (turn it over and hit it).

-ap.

YGMbucks.

so a lot of people are familiar with the fact that one of my favorite movies (one of my family's favorite movies, really) is You've Got Mail. Tom Hanks is hilarious, it is beyond quotable, and for those that know the Cooper Family you know that its quotability is probably why we even like this movie at all. well, my sisters and mom might think Meg Ryan is cute or something too.

anyway, i was at work today cleaning dishes...which is an entirely too lonely time of the day for me. if manhattan wasn't lonely enough, i have to do dishes by myself sometimes. rough life. but while i'm doing the dishes i get to think, and i like thinking. i think i'm a lot better off because of my ability to think and without it i think i'd be rather comparable to jell-o in terms of IQ. i was thinking about You've Got Mail and how my family could very well be watching it as they were driving down to Nowata, OK (again, stricken if i need to include the location....but i've decided its probably more important that i include ", OK" this time. nowata is a bit smaller).

I'm telling you insignificant details and trying to be funny. here's what i foudn interesting: the movie centers around Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) who is part owner of Fox Books, the economic devil in the eyes of Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) who owns The Shop Around the Corner, a children's bookstore. Fox Books is going to put SATC out of business. its inevitable. and the whole movie they all talk about how horribly commerical and huge and impersonal and loud and unhelpful and corporate and nationally annoying Fox Books is.

yet the movie is also obsessed with incorporating Starbucks. i found this shockingly contradictory. that is all.

-ap.

HSM, JB, KMR

this evening i am embarking on an experience i should have had this time last year, however, situations fell through time and time again and here i am in may 2007 preparing to watch High School Musical. since the day i first heard of it i have wanted to see it - that probably had much to do with me working full time with middle and high school students - but nevertheless, i was and still am eager to see this flick.

i'm pretty pumped, thats for sure. i only hope that the person i watch it with doesnt know every word to every song. that could potentially ruin my experience. not because it is annoying, but because i'm clearly jealous that they know all the words and i do not.

that's something that always disappoints me. i like to think that i have a pretty decent ability of memorizing things and remembering lyrics so songs and quotes to movies, and when people know them and i dont. actually, beyond disappointing, and just straight up annoying, is when they think they know the quotes but fail at them miserably. so so so sad. i feel bad for them and the people who don't know any different.

in other news:

i'm going to buck night at the K on friday night. the royals play detroit - a probable loss, however, you never know when JB might go off. every night is probable. ESPECIALLY on nights named after him. Buck Night? seriously? what more excitement is there?

i'll tell you what. live hot dog races. ketchup, mustard and relish come sprinting out of the visitor's bullpen toward home plate. relish of course wins - cause he/she IS the greatest. i'm going to assume its a he...for reasons inappropriate for this blog. last year's season come down to the last game of the season between mustard and relish - relish won like 9 of the last 11 races to make a run at the 06 title. so great.

thats about it. i promise i'll have something meaningful to read about soon.
k late.

-ap.

oh hey guys, adam here.

i'm not exactly sure how to explain myself here. between the months of december and february i was borderline obsessed with blogging. then, something clicked in my brain which apparently shorted out whatever lobe stimulates blogging motivation...either the temporal or the frontal lobes probably. anyways. i'd like to apologize to all the dedicated readers i had and i'd like to hope it doesnt happen again. maybe i'll just claim i gave it up for lent or something.

what has happened in the last month? eh. i guess i had a birthday, thats something neat.

oh man, but more importantly - baseball has resumed. i dont care what everyone who faithfully watched the '85 world series has to say - go cardinals. go royals. period. if they meet each other in the series i dont know what i'll do. actually i'd probably root for the royals now that the cards have won a championship in my lifetime. can you imagine that series?! the two greatest players in the game today square off - albert pujols/john buck?! wow. serious intensity. thats just good clean fun there - except be wary albert, j-buck's been known to deck latinos in the dugout (see runelvys hernandez 09/12/06).

john buck is, and forever will be, my favorite.

oh, i saw "meet the robinsons" twice over easter weekend - once with my friend karlie and then again with my family - it was absolutely terrific. first off, i absolutely love all those pixar-type movies. toy story will always be one of my favorites. secondly, it has some serious plot twists. usually, from what i've noticed, these animated movies tend to have very linear plot lines. one thing happens early in the movie and the entire movie is spent as a journey to fix that thing. example: finding nemo. the movie is about....finding nemo. nemo gets taken. his dad goes to get him from "p. sherman 42 wallaby way, syndey". thats about it. but this one....this one has some crazy "what. are you serious?!? no way." moments very late in the flick. plus it comes in 3D. and thats just cool. i saw it with the fam in 3D. pretty cool. not sure if it was worth the extra dough though. plus the glasses started hurting the bridge of my nose after a while. but those things aside, this movie was great.

it centers around this kid named lewis. in the opening scene you see his mother drop him off as a baby on the front step of an orphanage. he grows up there and has the worst time getting adopted because of his overactive imagination. he wants to invent things and is so passionate about it that he jeopardizes his chances of finding parents (the parents end up thinking he's a freak. plus he doesnt play sports. thats just weird).

he has an idea though - he'll invent a memory scanner so he can remember what his mother looked like and find her. however, on the day of the science fair the memory scanner is sabotaged and falls into the wrong hands - a skinny middle aged dude with a terrific mustache and a mechanical bowler cap for a best friend who happens to be in possession of a stolen time machine. in order to get it back, Lewis must travel into the future after the bowler hat guy to save his invention so he can see his mother again. in the future Lewis meets the robinson family. they're insane, but fun.

Anyways, i can't tell you too much, cause that'll spoil it and i'll be late for work if i do. but this movie is funny, clever, and it has a certain butterfly effect quality to it. anyways. big fan. go see it.

late.

-ap.

High Fidelity

last night i got off work around 12:15 and a group of us decided to watch High Fidelity. this movie came out in 2000, and it is an absolute crime that i hadn't seen it yet. nor had half the other people there. this is a strong statement to make, i know, but this movie is in my top five" favorite movies ever. i was literally ROTFLMAO multiple times during this flick.

the movie centers around a middle aged dude named Rob Gordon (John Cusack). he plays a over analytical and cynical record store owner who, along with his buddies Dick and Barry (Jack Black), are total music snobs and know anything and everything about every recording artist ever to exist. Rob's sidekicks help run his store, Chamipionship Vinyl- Dick is the most socially awkward, hesitant and bald human ever while Barry is everything Dick is not. he is obnoxious and loud and will not hesitate to denounce everything you think you know about the musac.

while Dick and Barry appear to have no life beyond their audio obsession, Rob is beyond obsessed with his relationship problems. he frequently refers to his "top five" of everything - songs, dream jobs, albums and the one which receives the most thought: breakups. he dwells religiously on his past relationship woes (his number 1 happening when he was in 6th grade behind the bleachers - some slut kissed another guy and broke his heart) and he spends the greater part of the movie attempting to solve the mystery that is his dating life. he over analyzes everything and we have the pleasure of hearing the interior and exterior monologues that happen throughout the movie.

this movie was so witty and so well done. nick and i were talking on the drive home about how most comedies are done such that it is funny for the first 3/4 of the film and then there is an "oh crap" moment with 30 minutes left where they realize, "dang. we need to figure out a plot at some point." this movie is perfect. it has more wit and humor than i've experienced in a LONG time and it tells a terrific story at the same time. plus Jack Black is great, and every time Dick opens his mouth i laugh. my favorite line from the whole movie i think:

Dick: Marie de Salle's playing. You remember I told you about her. I like her. She's kind of Sheryl Crow-ish crossed with a post-Partridge Family pre-L.A. Law Susan Dey kind of thing, but, you know, uh, black.

hahahaha. ROTFLMAO moment number 1 of many.

the only thing i didnt like about the movie was the fact that the lady friend that John Cusack chases after throughout the movie, Laura (Iben Hjejle), sounds like she has a Perma-Cold the entire time. she's got this nasty nasal husk to her voice that makes me want to bash a watermelon over my head...but as long as you can make fun of it during the movie it is tolerable. listen for it though if you watch it. its kinda hilarious...kinda revolting.

but, Perma-Colds aside, this movie is the best i have seen in quite a while. this rivals, dare i say, That Thing You Do! for the top spot in my cinema world. i know you probably don't believe it (Holly especially), but it is true. i could watch that movie 79 times straight and never get tired of it. so many incredible lines that i simply HAVE to hear again.

this movie is a 10. period. go see it now because it is all sorts of awesome.

-ap.

Pan's Labyrinth

at 9:45 i get a phone call from my friend to go see some random movie at 10:05. i was being extremely productive at the time (playing nintendo 64), but i dropped everything i was doing and went to the local Carmike Cinema to find out what this whole thing was all about.

upon arrival at the theater, i sort of wished i was going to see Norbit instead for two reasons: 1) it looks ridiculous and 2) the entire basketball team was in line to see it when we got there. i informed Maybank that i approved of his performance against KU. he called me bro in return. holla.

anyways. so i get in there and sit down and sit through the preview for "the number 23" and then lean to my friend heather and ask, "what's this movie?"

this movie turned out to be not only an extremely well spent 8 bucks, but also an extremely interesting and overall great movie. The movie opens up with a narrator telling us all about some curious little girl who was the daughter of the king of the underworld and she wanted to see what the earth's surface (much like Ariel). so one night the princess eludes the city guards and sneaks out of the underworld and on to the earth's surface, but upon making it, the sunlight blinds her and she forgets all about her former life underground. eventually she dies, but her father, the king, vows that he will never rest until her spirit somehow, someway, finds its way back to the underworld. after this quick fairy tale reading the movie officially begins.

Pan's Labyrinth takes place in the Spainish woodlands during WWII. the whole movie is in Spanish, so there are subtitles, but it didn't take away from this movie whatsoever. The movie centers around about a 11 year old girl named Ofilia. She is a brave, adventurous, and emotionally strong young girl who travels with her pregnant mother to stay with her step-father, a Captain of the Spanish army. Also, and more importantly probably, Ofilia loves to read fairy tales and, as a result, has an unbelievable imagination.

Upon arriving at her step-father's military home she explores the surrounding area and discovers a creepy archway leading into a hedge maze. Ofilia's curiosity eventually fuels her deep into the labyrinth and eventually to a huge spiral staircase way down into the earth (the same staircase the princess of the underworld had apparently used to escape). her fairy tale mind works wonders with her from here and all sorts of awesome creatures show up throughout the movie due to her heightened levels of fantasy.

while all of this is going on, there is a constant struggle between the Spanish armies and a group of guerrillas who are supposedly plotting to attack the Captain's base. The Captain is a ruthless and heartless man and really makes for a graphic movie. some parts are very "Saving-Private-Ryan-Esque-Kinda" he tortures a guy, bashes a guy's face with a glass bottle for no reason, and you get the sense that he truly only cares about himself. anyways, Ofilia is caught up in all this tension between what is real and what is her imagination and who she can trust and who she can't.

It becomes rather obvious rather quickly that Ofilia is the spirit of the king's daughter that he is waiting for, and while all of the people she loves and hates continue to tell her that fairy tales are a waste of time, she continues to explore and search deeper into the mystery of the labyrinth.

i'm not explaining it too terribly well, i realize that, but what i will say is this - you should probably see this movie. i think it was nominated for like 6 golden globes. it gets your creative mindset really flowing, and, at the same time, it really ups your intensity level.

another thing i really liked about this movie is that it is loaded with spiritually significant stuff. lots of really cool Jesus images in this film, so if you go see it - keep an eye out for the parallels. they do abound.

anyways. thats that. i was glad i went. i give it a 7.38.

-ap.

snakes on a plane

wow. i don't even know what to say. i mean seriously.

this movie was all sorts of terrible. i mean ALL sorts. we're talking meaningless plot, unnecessary love, horrendous dialogue, ridiculous deaths, ill-tempered serpents, and illogical everything. oh, and a snake chomping a girl's boob.


...but it was great.

however, i can't actually do a review of it - that would be too serious - and this movie was way too off its donker. and i'm lazy. so thats really it.

-ap.

Children of Men

i saw Children of Men last night at the wonderful and regularly overpopulated Seth Childs Carmike Cinema last night. it was really interesting. the movie is set in the year 2027, and, apparently, women have been infertile since the year 2009. the movie starts out with a news program about how the youngest human on earth has died; he was 18 years and 4 months old.

this movie is the most intense film i've seen recently. it has a little saving-private-ryan-esque quality about it near the end. yes, i'm serious. thats how intense this movie gets. it seems ridiculous, but lets be honest, if our world all of a sudden couldn't reproduce and the end of our civilization was inevitable i think things would get rather wild.

a war has broken out. the movie is set in England, but one must assume that the entire world is in utter chaos. England has closed its borders and the British government is attempting to wipe out all of the illegal immigrants in the country. the war is a civil one between the government and a group of "terrorists" in support of a thing called the Human Project. we never really find out what goes on in the Human Project, but we are led to believe that it is the hope of the world, yet there is curiosity as to whether or not it even exists.

Theo (Clive Owen) is called upon by the leader of the terrorist group Julian (Julianne Moore) to help transport an African American girl to the Human Project. initially the entire task seems confusing and overly dramatic to Theo until he finds out the urgency of the situation and the importance of this woman: she is pregnant. Theo takes on the task of transporting the girl himself. They can't trust the government or the terrorist group, both of them will want to use the baby for political purposes.

this film is creepy, scary, intense, and amazing all at the same time. i'm trying to figure out whether or not i was a huge fan of it. a movie really has to be bad for me not to like it or for me not to at least come away with a slight sense of joy because of it. but i'd say on a scale from 1 to 10...probably a 7. it was really good but the action was over the top. it never stopped either, constant explosions/gunshots/deaths. a very graphic movie - apparently there are so many people dying that they dont give anyone proper burials anymore, so regularly throughout the movie you see huge piles of charred and burning bodies. pitch black arms and legs sticking out of the mangled mess of flesh. sick.

if you're not a wiener and you can handle some serious intensity then i'd recommend seeing this movie at some point. its a really interesting idea in the least. at one point you see a curbside prophet on a pair of stilts screaming into a megaphone about how "God has taken his greatest gift from us." a really cool line i think. in today's society we have a tendency to view sex as a sinful act because of how inappropriately it is manifested in the lives of humanity, but in reality it is an amazing and beautiful thing, and without it we couldn't survive as a people.

oh man. there is one part when Theo clocks a dude in the face with some 10 pound metal box of some sort and a collective "OHH!" resounded throughout the theater. it was awesome.

anyway, like i said, i give it a 7.

-ap.

and since every post must have a "ps", if you are in a movie with three punks from ft. riley three rows behind you talking constantly about how 'f-ing gay this movie is' and how it is 'the worst f-ing movie [they've] ever seen' then you should turn around and do something about it. throw a Jujube at them or something (but not a red one. those are the only flavor worth the trouble of tonguing out of your teeth). i didn't do anything and it nearly ruined the movie for me.