the number 23.

my birthday falls on the best day of the year: march 14. you can argue all you like, but it's the truth. here are just four of the reasons:

1. pi day - ever since i learned how to calculate circumference my birthday has been celebrated in childish math classrooms all over. it's celebrated with cute activities involving circular pies which ultimately result in a delicious key lime snack.


2. spring break - falls nearly every year on my birthday. i have spent more birthdays traveling than i have spent birthdays at home (1 in chicago, 3 in monterrey, 1 in guatemala, and about 12 in oklahoma.) i used to think that i really wanted to have school on my birthday so that i could bring funfetti cupcakes for everyone to enjoy. i was so jealous of everyone else who got to bring treats for the class on their big day. but then i finally had school on the 14th for the first two years of college and was presented with a combined 5 exams, 1 presentation, 1 paper and 1 course project. i quickly realized that not bringing cupcakes was just fine. besides, i didn't have to share them this way.

3. a week after MLB tickets go on sale - the perfect amount of time to buy a ticket package, slap a bow on it and give it as a gift a week later. the royals might as well just post "get adam a 9 game pack for his birthday next week" because what else are people getting gifts for this time of year? easter? spring break? pi day? no. those are not gift exchanging holidays. it is only for people like me who have the good fortune of celebrating their birth with 9 royals games of their choice. (there is no need to rush to the K for me...it's already been done.)


4. conference tournaments/first round of the ncaa tournament - depending on the year. this year the conference championships fall on my birthday. in past years it has been the first round. either way, the hype surrounding college basketball reaches its first of many climaxes on my big day. btw: did you guys SEE that game last night?! if you have to ask what game then the answer is no. one of the best college basketball games of all time. goodness.

also it's my birthday. so i turn 23 tomorrow, and it's good to know that while birthdays become increasingly less exciting as one gets older, there isn't a chance mine can ever flounder. that's a combination for a great day every single year.

-ap.

open letter to kanye west.

mr. kanye west -

i'm writing you in a desperate attempt to improve the world of college basketball. last night the ncaa tournament ended and, as always, cbs played the annual "one shining moment" video montage. i'm not sure if you are familiar with it - most people have turned their television off by the time it airs anyway - but it is the cheesiest segment i've ever experienced in all my life. apparently it is a tradition. it began back in 1987 and apparently the public went bonkers. i'm not necessarily sure why they insist on the tradition today. its pitifully boring. the worst part is the lyric "you're a shooting star" - guaranteed that more than 90% of the montages incorporated one of the best in college basketball shooting a slow motion jump shot during that phrase. he is a shooting star. what a feeble pun. it takes a bunch of ballers and makes them look more like baller-inas.

however, i believe you, kanye, can single-handedly do something about it. sample copious amounts of the song, add a beat, throw down some family-appropriate lyrics and send it into cbs. there are so many lines you can sample for choruses and there's a legit piano going that you could mess around with. like you did with laura nyro on graduation (the glory). just make it a little more energetic and amped instead of leaving it sounding like i should be watching frolicking* unicorns. heck, call up john legend to hammer it down on the keys if you want, or i bet common would jump at the chance to help you out for a verse. or consequence. or mos def. or chris martin. or jay. (this contradicts the "single-handedly" i referenced earlier, but its your prerogative, kanye.)

it is painfully sad to watch incredible athletes perform to such a cornball song. its even more painful knowing that it is going to happen again next year. and the year after that. 21 years of this nonsense is plenty. please help me out here man. you've got a year to work your magic. ready break.

expectantly,
adam paul cooper

* - sick.

march madness: final four edition.

i'm completely disinterested in the ncaa tournament now.
i think i'd rather go to san antonio to see the alamo than to see either one of these games.

k maybe thats not true. i'd rather watch the jayhawks get steamrolled by the tarheels.
and memphis/ucla is going to be a pretty incredible matchup: dorsey/love and rose/collison.

however. here are my minimal thoughts on the final four this year. other than that its a total snoozer having all #1 seeds.

predictions:
north carolina 82 - kansas 69.
memphis 77 - ucla 74

i have ucla winning it all - but i dont see that happening.

extremely impressed: memphis.
very impressed: north carolina.
not impressed: ucla.
who cares about kansas?

combined seeds played:
memphis = 16 + 8 + 5 + 2 = 31
unc = 16 + 9 + 4 + 3 = 32
ucla = 16 + 9 + 12 + 3 = 40
kansas = 16 + 8 + 12 + 10 = 46

i'd be interested to see if any team has ever played higher seeds and made it to the final four.
i bet not. lame.

i wouldn't mind seeing memphis win it all.

i also wouldn't mind seeing bill self run off to stillwater after they lose tomorrow.

sports i'm more excited about than ncaa basketball right now: baseball.

-ap.

POSTGAME EDIT:
i've decided that for the first 15 minutes and the last 5 minutes ku was employing magic.
tyler hansbrough was under the imperius curse
and the san antonio spurs (who lost by 26 last night in utah) deviously switched places with the jayhawks by drinking polyjuice potion:

tony parker = mario chalmers
manu ginobili = brandon rush
fabricio oberto = russell robinson
kurt thomas = sasha kaun
michael finley = darnell jackson
and
tim duncan = cole aldrich.

this was all the work of former kansas guard and now san antonio reserve jacque vaughn.
....so that explains it. its like harry potter meets space jam.

madness: rounds 1 & 2.

i wish i'd had the opportunity to throw up a predictions post about this years tourney, but i guess a sweet 16 post is better than nothing.

my final four:
unc over ku
ucla over texas
champ: ucla over unc

picks i've blown so far:
duke in the elite 8.
gtown in the elite 8.
kstate in the sweet 16.
drake over uconn in the sweet 16.

picks i've nailed so far:
villinova in the sweet 16.
davidson over gonzaga.
kstate over usc.

first round catholic games i missed:
miami over st. mary's.
oklahoma over st. joe's.
notre dame over george mason.

teams i like more since the beginning of the tourney:
davidson.
clemenson.
unlv.
texas a&m.
teams i like less since the beginning of the tourney:
oklahoma.
wisconsin.

most depressing post game interview award:
coach k following games against both the belmont and the wvu. after beating the #15 bruins by 1 point at the last second, mike goes on and on about how that was the best his team could play. way to give your guys a positive lift into the next game against west virginia. shocking they couldn't pull it out.

best performer thus far: stephen curry of davidson. what a freak. the guy looks like he's about 10 but he puts up 40 against zag and 30 against georgetown. sizzle.

biggest refereeing blunder: a&m was fouled with 4 seconds left against ucla. no call. (left) ucla went on to win by 2 (not four, the last second dunk didnt count). two free throws would've sent it to overtime - yikes.

biggest seeding crime: #6 oklahoma. are we joking. 4th in the big 12 with wins at baylor and texas tech to brag about - they get a bye to the second round of the big xii tourney where they are faced with a TERRIFYING 12th-seeded colorado team. and then got absolutely tossed by texas. they belong in the tourney. but not a 6. they're in the company of marquette, usc, and purdue as other 6 seeds. not even in the same league as them. i give them a 10 seed. 8 tops.

the "how did you even make the tournament" award: #10 arizona. arizona state beat them twice during the regular season. supposedly the wildcats made the tourney cause of their strength of schedule. thats all well and good i suppose - except they didnt win any of them. (though they did beat umkc by 19 at home. watch out for the roos.)

best team in the tourney with a losing record: coppin st. 16-20 during the regular season and finished 7th in the MEAC. are we joking.

most disappointing loss: drake to western kentucky. my cousin goes to drake and i was pumped to see the bulldogs in the tourney. big time buzzkill.

teams i pretty much fail to acknowledge in the sweet 16: michigan state, washington state. what boring trips to the sweet 16 - and dont expect either to last into the elite 8.

best jeremiah johnson impression: steven hill of arkansas. (right)

most surprising upset: siena over vanderbilt. siena is a burnt crayon color. not a college.

least surprising shalacking: ucla over mississippi valley state. 70-29.

craziest "upset" picked by an espn analyst: bobby knight - #5 MSU over #4 pitt. what a nutter.

most disappointing thing about kstate's loss to wiscosin: i can't happily wear one of my favorite tshirts anymore. unless wisconsin goes on to beat ku for the final four. then i can wear my badgers tee with pride.

number of kstate players who showed up against usc: 4.

number of kstate players who showed up against wisc: 2.

number of ron andersons on the front of usa today this week: 1.

anyway. there's a handful of thoughts there. i'll wrap this up until the final four probably.
eh. probably not. crossies.

-ap.

somehow my spacing changed halfway through my post. haven't the slightest why.
it kinda bugs me. but i'm kinda lazy. so i'm kinda gonna leave it as is.