dear pat sajak,

so a funny thing happened this evening: pat sajak commented on my last blog. yes, the real pat sajak. at first, i was skeptical. i thought "this has to be fake. no way pat sajak has the time to comment on my blog. it's gotta be an imposter."

but then, since i am a detective, i got to the bottom of it...

i checked my sitemeter's recent history by location.

second listing down: baltimore, maryland. that one had to be the source of the comment because the one before it was my own visit from manhattan, ks.

then i checked his profile on wikipedia to discover the following line: "The couple splits time between Severna Park, Maryland, and Manhattan Beach, California."

severna park is 20 miles south of baltimore.

so unless there is someone in pat sajak's hometown posing as the man himself, the commenter was indeed the real pat sajak.

gulp. holy smokes.

pat, i am seriously hoping that you will read this follow-up blog as well. i mean no disrespect to your life as a game show host. clearly you worked hard to achieve the life you have attained and it was wrong of me to reduce your hard work to sheer luck. my hope is that you'll accept my apology - because i also must inform you of the following four facts:

1. wheel of fortune is my absolute favorite television show. i have watched it since i was a small child. my favorite episode of all time: when there was a contestant named "A". that's probably been 15 years ago now.
2. i have applied to be on your show three different times. i even claimed that my favorite nascar driver was jeff gordon in an attempt to make it on to "nascar week". i hate nascar.
3. i have officially joined the Wheel Watchers Club. my SpinID is AC6480822.
4. i am a generally nice person. in fact, i found out today that there is a facebook application called "nicest person" and i am currently leading in votes among my friends. i will admit, if there was an application called "most conceted person" i'd be in the running for that as well.

i hope you were not offended by my previous post pat. you (as well as vanna and the show itself) have been very important to my evening ritual for many many years, and it pains me to think that i have insulted my favorite show's host.

so with great sincerity i say, i'm sorry. i hope this blog finds you well. see you tomorrow night at 6:30 PM CST.

-ap.

p.s. - i suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask - is there any way you could pull some strings to get me on the show? it would be a dream come true. thanks so much.

television personalities: how did they get so lucky?

how do people like pat sajak and alex trebek do it? i mean, they're celebrities now, but where do they come from? the only reason they're celebrities is because they started hosting a television game show that just happened to take off. trebek has been hosting since 1984 and sajak since 1983, but before that? not much. sajak was a radio dj in college and in vietnam, and trebek hosted a handful of failure game shows before jeopardy, but then they just happened to land a jackpot hosting gig...i could totally do their jobs. where's my big break?

those are just the oldies. here are a few of the current guys who are rising to stardom out of nowhere:

ben bailey - cash cab - prior to the show, bailey was a comedian doing after-hours story telling while he was in college. then suddenly some big shot lady thinks he's funny, gives him a job doing stand up in los angeles, and then a few years later he's hosting the american version of cash cab. also he is a licensed cabbie.

billy mays - infomercial allstar - okay, he's not a game show host, but he's definitely a rising television star. the guy skipped out on college and just started as a salesman on the streets of atlantic city. then he started doing sales at home shows and state fairs. one day the founder of Orange Glo International happens to see his sales style, likes it, puts him in a commercial. suddenly in 2009 he's in something like 819 informercials and lives in a $1.8M home in florida.

i could do those jobs. things like going pro in basketball - i don't have those skills - but i have game show hosting skills. now all i have to do is meet some big timer who will catapult me to stardom in a moment.

maybe i'll just spend my sunday afternoon watching basketball and brainstorming terrific game show ideas. like this one where people dress up as toy story characters, run up a ramp, get repeatedly pummeled by rolling soda cylinders and end up in a rectangular pool of icy water.


absolute genius. excessive yen and major stardom for woody overnight.

-ap.

props to marko for the vid.